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Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

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Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:26 pm

Hi, all. Just to say before I start, that I'm lonelydaydream as was! Long story cut short - I've had a very low spell and deactivated my account here, then thought the better of it & created a new account. I feel like a right idiot! Ah well, live and learn.

Well, I've been away from Twitter and FB for a long time now - I really don't have enough room in my head for social media right now. I'm still active in a couple of support groups on FB & keeping up with family news, but that's it. As for Twitter - well, I think a few people on there are getting a bit upset with me but I just don't have the emotional energy for it right now. One lady keeps WhatsApping me, and a guy from there keeps messaging me via Pinterest now I'm not around on Twitter. I feel like an absolute heel - it's not like me at all. Think I've got some kind of burn-out, tbh. Plus I'm never going to meet these people - the relationships have no real foundation. I can't WhatsApp every day with someone I've never met - I don't do that with real life people I love!

I'm still addicted to receiving validation, which is annoying, but manage to restrict my posting on emotional matters either to here or my FB groups.

It's not all bad news - I'm doing an interesting course, and have joined an online book club, plus I've gone back to church and have joined a local history society - I'm doing a few more things which aren't social media related - hooray! I still feel dead guilty about my Twitter friends though... the lady I mentioned has just WhatsApped me good night, as always... I have no idea what to do!
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby NewSunRising » Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:05 am

Hi LDD / Anotherfinemess !

I've been thinking about you and hoping you were doing well . And it seems that you are ( although I'm sorry you went through a low spell ) .

anotherfinemess wrote:I'm still addicted to receiving validation,


Which I think also holds true for the people who are pestering you on social media . You are moving forward out of your dependency on it and they are not . You can't do anything about that . You can only change your own life and the way you live it .

anotherfinemess wrote: I still feel dead guilty about my Twitter friends though... the lady I mentioned has just WhatsApped me good night, as always... I have no idea what to do!


Just don't respond . She'll eventually move on . If you want to be nice , you could send a " It's not you , it's me " message and tell her you will not be responding any longer because social media has taken over your life and you have decided that you don't want that anymore . Wish her the best , then delete or block . Same with the Twitter guy . You're not a heel . There are people who need that constant communication , it doesn't matter who it's with . Rest assured that you are highly unlikely to be their only " lifeline " ( a position , I might add , that you did not volunteer for ).

Enjoy your off-line life . It really is the best kind . :D
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Mon Feb 12, 2018 8:23 pm

Thanks NSR! Nice to see you! Apologies for deactivating my account - I feel like a twit now! The odd blip apart, I'm doing quite well, all in all.

Thanks for your advice about my "Twitter friends". It's hard not to feel mean because when I was heavily into social media, they were very kind to me & their "hello" messages were comforting. It's only since I've left FB and Twitter and started going out & about a bit more that I'm starting to feel that the associations have hit their sell-by date, as it were - the conversations go absolutely nowhere beyond good morning, good night and silly pictures! I no longer need that constant communication.

They are nice people though. It's suddenly struck me that they are probably very lonely - one of them in particular has health problems and I know how that feels. Neither of them ever mention spending time with friends - either they don't want to share such things with me or they don't have any. So I don't want to act in a way which makes them feel even worse!

I'm tempted to post to Twitter that I'm emigrating to Outer Mongolia, where I intend to live as a goat... :mrgreen:
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby NewSunRising » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:22 pm

:mrgreen: Maybe make it a goat-herd instead . As much as I like to tell folks " You can be anything you want to be ! " , becoming a goat is rather outside the realm of achievability .

I understand your reluctance to appear that you're just dropping them cold . It's kind of hard to just cut off communication altogether , for apparently no reason .

I'm glad you're getting out and about more - spring is coming ( slowly ) and who knows what you'll discover once the fine weather gets here ! I have decided to go back to Yoga class . I hate exercise , but my body is letting me know I need to do something to get me up and moving .

I have a Yoga buddy , so that's a bit more incentive to go .
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:36 pm

Lol! Yes, it might be easier to become a goat-herd rather than an actual goat!

Talking of being dumped for no apparent reason, that happened to me twice on Twitter this last year, both by ladies I thought were friends. One of them in particular had messaged me for a chat every day ever since my husband passed away. She was very kind, and I'm still grateful for that. Anyway, a few months ago she stopped contacting me, then after several weeks messaged me to ask me not to contact her again. I can't pretend that didn't hurt, but I guess the contact got too much. It would be too much for me at the moment, so maybe she's done me a favour.

I haven't had a goodnight WhatsApp from the other lady tonight, and I'm not going to chase her. See what happens.

Yoga sounds great - I wish you all the best with it! :)
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:14 am

P.S. Whoops! I did get a goodnight WhatsApp - just missed it!
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby NewSunRising » Sat Feb 17, 2018 2:54 pm

I can imagine how that kind of abrupt cut-off would sting . A bit rude , if you ask me , but who knows what's going on in her life ? All we can do is move on , I suppose . Like you said - it is kind of a blessing in disguise .

I like Yoga , but Gads , am I out of shape ! :mrgreen: It's a bit mortifying to be surrounded by 20-somethings with the flexibility of cooked spaghetti while I am more like the uncooked variety . Baby steps , I tell myself . It's almost more about getting myself out of the house than getting myself in better shape . I tend to get hermit-y in the winter .

I have a few folks that do the same thing your What's App lady does . I know they are kindly people but it does get trying sometimes . Honestly , sometimes I just don't respond . Lol , of course I apologize later . I guess that's human nature .
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Sat Feb 17, 2018 7:39 pm

Thanks NSR! I tend to be a bit of a hermit in the winter too (and in the Spring... heck, all year round lol!) It's good to be getting out and about a little bit more, though. Feel like I've got more of a life! Good luck with the yoga!

Yes, the abruptness of that lady's dumping me really did hurt, as I would never have done it to her. I'm not really angry any more though - she's done me a favour in the long run, I think!

Just had a good night message from WhatsApp lady - is this going to carry on for another 20 years lol?! :lol:
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby NewSunRising » Sun Feb 18, 2018 2:20 am

I don't have any experience with WA - is there a blocking feature ? You could tell her you are going on a media fast and won't be using the app for a while , maybe permanently if it works out well .

"I've decided to start cutting social media out of my life . It's nothing to do with you personally and it's not only you , so if you don't hear from me again , it was lovely chatting with you all this time . I wish you well , etc. , etc. " .

You know how to let her down gently . Truthfully , if someone texted me nothing but " Goodnight " every single evening , I would find that a bit creepy . Not to mention wholly unnecessary.
But that's just me - I don't "chat" unless it's in real life and I don't have any social media on my PC or phone . I think the younger generation is growing up with a " Must respond !" reaction to every like , comment , pin , tweet - you name it . It must be exhausting .
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Re: Pretty much ditched Social Media, but still anxious!

Postby anotherfinemess » Sun Feb 18, 2018 1:00 pm

I don't know if you can block people on WhatsApp - it's just a messaging app which - unfortunately - has been bought out by Facebook. It's really difficult with this particular lady - I know she has health problems and is very lonely, and I know what that's like, so I don't want to hurt her. She doesn't just message me goodnight - she sends me "good morning" and "any plans for the day?" messages as well. Then I'm left in the weird position of telling someone I've never met & never will my plans lol!

I honestly wish social media had never been invented, and that I hadn't been so silly as to get so heavily involved with people I didn't know - my only defence is, like WhatsApp lady, I was really lonely and isolated at the time!
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