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Intermittent Explosive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

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Postby Crystal69 » Fri Dec 20, 2019 8:20 pm

Hello! I am new here and very glad to have found this forum.  I hope to get some advice from people that understand this type of situation, without judgement.  Thank you in advance for listening.

A little on my history, me and my husband have been together for nine years.  We have a blended family with three children.  I am 50 and husband is 46.  We are both educated, have good careers, hobbies and a generally great life.  We are both loving and respectful to each other. We communicate and get along well. He is good to me and my children. He has help me raise them over the last six years. (Their dad is in another state).

History on my husband, he was raised by his mother and and alcoholic abusive father who was in and out of his life until he was 15. He had a rough childhood but was able to go to the Army and straighten out his life. He has never been in trouble and is successful.

"Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation." this definition fits my husband perfectly.  When I first started dating my husband, I did not understand him. I did not understand his out of proportionate anger and his reactions.  He would yell and on occasion break things, for things that did not seem like a big deal, to me.  I would never know what could set him off.   As the years have gone on, I now understand his reactions and what can trigger him, like being tired or sick.  These episodes have decreased in frequency and intensity.  We have been able to work through them and they rarely happen anymore and even when they do it is much better. 

That being said, we had an episode two weeks ago. I do not know if I have ever seen him this mad.  We got in a fight over a lost phone.  Normally, I am calm and collected, One reason we can get along so well. Well, I did not do that this time. I was confrontational, I was mad and hurt.  So this episode escalated to more than just yelling and breaking things, it got physical.  (Not on my part). 

We have talked several times since this episode. He is very remorseful of the entire situation.  We are back to our normal selves. I just wanted to talk to someone who may have experienced something like this. I cannot just ignore it and pretend like it did not happen. Thank you for your time.
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