I live a lie...

I feel like I should have gone with my instincts when I was young instead of becoming socially acceptable. Don't get me wrong I'm no goody two shoes and I have a criminal record for the usual violence, criminal damage and theft but I never allowed myself the freedom to fulfil my true desire and really satisfy that hunger.

I actually see myself as a good person. I'm upstanding, pay my taxes and whatnot. People like me even though I don't particularly care for them and to most of them I wish no harm. They don't bother me really. But I feel trapped. I don't have a social life but that's because most people bore me and if I get bored socially then I end up drinking too much and I'm not wasting my money and making myself I'll for the sake of it. So I've learned to be bored and in doing so have probably become boring.

I don't want to go on too much because I'll lose the thread of what I'm trying to say and that won't do.

I just feel as though I've lost what I truly am. I hope you all get where I'm coming from.