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Perfect storm

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Perfect storm

Postby cityofgod123 » Sat Jul 22, 2017 1:02 am

Hello all, not sure if this goes here as I think it cross links several different disorders, but anyway I just wanted to get this out.

This is my first post. I created this account to try and find some one who has possible ever heard of anyone experiencing or themselves experiencing something similar to what I have been for the last few days, which I am convinced is a perfect recipe for complete mental and eventual physical breakdown.

I am most likely a hypochondriac or due to anxiety and drinking have become one.
3 weeks ago I came off an alcohol binge, it was th worst withdrawal I had ever experienced. Anxiety was through the roof. After not sleeping at all for most of those 3 weeks I had to go to a very stressful event 3 days out of town. I did not sleep at all and on the 3rd night experienced derealization. During this I noticed I felt zero emotion towards my family. I think in my sleep deprived state this seemed very traumatic and weird on me, and really negatively effected me. 3 days later I finally realized it was over and vowed to never think aobut that again or experience it again. I heavily regret making this deffinitive desicion because ever since I have I basically trick myself to keep remembering it.

When they say if you try to not think about something, you think about it more and more. Well that deffinately applies here. The only difference is now, my daily worrying about my health and wondering or convincing myself their might be something wrong iwth me, is now all spent worrying about the fact I can't forget about this. Every time I think about it and realize I haven't stopped thinking about it, it really stresses me out, more so then any of my previous worries have, due to the fact I think because I viewed it as something that deffinitevely happened, versus all the worries, which I am not sure of, and always have gone to doctors to be reasused theres nothing physically wrong iwth me.

So basically every time I think about this incidient, I start getting headpressure and can literally feel the stress coming on more then I ever have. My palms have been sweaty and red for the last 2 days, they are normally bone dry and white. My vision is slightly blurry, I am starting to get chest pain and little pains in my arms where the veins are, I notice my veins in general are bulging out more then normal. On top of having a more flushed and puffy red face then usual. All symptoms of high stress.

On the emotional side I can actually feel the effects of depression setting in , for the first time ever. I don't have a drive to get up and do things, I sort of just want to sit and do nothing, which I have never felt. I never had much issues concentrating on reading or doing anything and not getting destracted, but am noticing this thought keeps recurring and ruining my concentration. I am starting to feel hopeless, something I have never really felt before, and always wondered if I was depressed, but in these last 2 days can deffinately notice a drastic sudden decrease in mood and motivation to do anything..

I don't really know what to do at this point. My psychologist said I need to get out and do things,, which I agree with, and my GP doesnt seem overly worried, and just perscribed me ativan for the next few days and told me to see him next week. But i am convinced that with my hypchondria tendencies, combined with experiencing that horryfying moment while sleep deprived , which really did traumatize me, sort of sent me into the perfect storm of different things which will now inevidebly contribute to my downfall. I cant stop thinking about how horrible I felt , and my mind won't stop playing it over. And i can feel the physical stress on my body every time I think about it.
I am really freaking out and don't know what to do , can anyone offer some advice
cityofgod123
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