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My mum is a hypochondriac, I don't know what to do anymore.

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My mum is a hypochondriac, I don't know what to do anymore.

Postby PuppyDog3 » Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:33 am

Hi, I have a mother who my whole life has always been sick, always had a cold that is 10x worse than anything we ever had and always had, something that was always potentially killing her. And honestly it's effecting my mental state. I'm currently in my last semester of university and I'm finding it hard to know what to do next as my mothers is completely in denial that she is a hypochondriac...

she completely believes that at the moment our family house (that was newly built in 2009) is killing us from toxic mould.... her symptoms are the same symptoms that have been brought up my whole life that are "killing" her, usually to do with her stomach and cognitive abilities. She has been to multiple doctors and she has even asked to have every single test possible to determine what is wrong with her and her results every time come back that she is fine and healthy. Keep in mind that this is only the most recent illness that I'm mentioning. One doctor even told her that she needs to calm down and just be greatful that she is healthy at the moment. That did not go down well... she has since been trying to google those docotors to determine which universities they graduated from, as she believes all docotors in our community are unqualified because they won't diagnose her with anything.

She has resorted to living in a tent in our backyard and hanging her head over the fence all day to get away from our apparent mould invested house that is not effecting anyone else in my family, except her. She has turned up to my dad's work limping and crying, dragging her body through the halls as if she was taking her final breath. in my head, I believe she's doing this just to get attention from other people so they can say oh poor you. She thrives off it. She tells everyone her problems, you can't walk into a grocery store without her telling 5 people her health history.

. I have an 8 year old sister who she is brainwashing into thinking she is being effected too. I live out of home. So when I did visit recently my little sister told me she's getting too skinny because of the mould in our house, and she has dark marks under her eyes because of the mould. She is fine she has not lost any weight at all, (I weighed her) and has no dark rings around her eyes. My mum is brainwashing her into thinking she is though and I'm scared of what that could do to my little sister..

I just feel horrible that this is the way I feel. I have become completely numb and unsympathetic towards anyone who is sick now and I feel horrible for that, but it's because of her. It's always about her it's always about her illnesses. But, when you've seen your mother in a state that she believes she is dying and setting alarms every hour through the night so she doesn't stop breathing in her sleep, to the next day picking up my little sister and swining her around and running outside, it's hard not to second guess her apparent illness.

My dad who is the most positive person in the world is becoming depressed because of this environment that he is having to live with.. he loves her and would never leave her. He just wants to make her happy, but she never will be. Because as soon as one sickness is cured a new one arises. That's what it's always been like.. she has given away all of our furniture because it's APPARNETLY infected... my parents are in debt due to the thousands of dollars in mould testing they have had on the house.. which came back clean. With small mould spots in our family shower (as you would expect) but again she doesn't believe it, and has clung on to that the mould in the shower is what is making her feel this way, but as stated by the mould tester. There are elements of mould everywhere you can't escape it, mould is in everyone. But, No, no one understands what she is going through and he doesn't know what he is talking about. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore because anything I say she attacks because I don't understand what it's like to be her, because she is so sick. It's not only her though she has disagnosed me and my siblings with every disease under the sun. She is convinced my little sister has diabetes because she drinks a lot of water and Google said drinking lots of water means you have diabeties. I have Anxiety because of the way my dad acted when I was in dangerous situations. I have PCOS because I lived in a house that had water damage. I have trouble concentrating because my mums labour took too long. It's brain numbing...

I'm sorry for the essay but I'm struggling to know what to do... my whole family have suggested and tried to get her to get help but she is refusing it as she doesn't believe it's physiological... she has cut off my whole family since then, except for my dad, brother who lives in the United States and I, who lives out of home. Honestly any help on how I can help her understand or go see someone or just get her to understand that maybe it isn't real would be so appreciated. I understand that hypochondria is serious and I conpletely understand it, I just hope there is a way I can get my mum to understand it isn't shameful to have a mental illness and just accept it and try and help herself with all of our support to overcome it.. thank you I really appreciate that if you did read to the end you did ❤ I hope you are able to help, any advice or similar experiences would be amazing ❤
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Re: My mum is a hypochondriac, I don't know what to do anymore.

Postby billybobbs » Sun May 07, 2017 2:12 pm

I have a mother-in-law with milder symptoms but given time I can see it getting to this state. Just replace the 'toxic mould' with one of her causes and voila! So far we've had the Wi-fi, tapwater, toxic spores coming in from the garden, gluten. All of these things were apparently damaging to her health, and the older she gets, the more she makes out like they affect her. She still has her husband to keep her in 'relatively' in check, but I fear that if anything were to happen to him she would totally go overboard and become unmanageable.

I would be interested to hear any advice for dealing with people like this. It has always been the case that we cannot be totally open with her about things, as she gets very aggressive and emotional if we confront issues. I guess I would just be interested in advice to handle people like this.
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