Worries of leukemia??

I'm a pretty young person. An age where I should be out living worry free. But one of my old friends tried to scare me and told me the spot on my skin was skin cancer during class. I freaked, believing her like some idiot and I checked my skin every day from that moment forward. Slowly, it transformed into Hypochondria. Every day, my health would be on my mind, I was constantly looking up my symptoms and having full blown anxiety attacks, and I usually didn't even HAVE what Dr. Google told me I did. Like, psychosomatic symptoms. Very recently, I spotted a bruise I didn't remember getting on my leg and one smaller one on my knee. Lower down was some red spots. I couldn't tell if they were pimples or whatever. I tried to calm myself down by listening to music. When I got up, I accidentally smacked my right knee on the desk. After a few spewed curses, I decided to check it after a little while. I had a nasty, red cut there. That's when I truly got anxious. I didn't think something like THAT could cause a cut like THIS. Along with these marks, I've been having chest pains, mucus, my hands burn, my stool was black for a while with a terrible gassy feeling in it and my joints feel like they ache. I read that most of this was pre leukemia symptoms, according to Dr. Google and I simply lost it. I've been struggling with this for a while, and all I want is to stop worrying and stop feeling so anxious all the time. My close peers often tell me I'm nuts, or that I'm fine, but I can't help it. Please help me. I would be thankful for advice and support on this.

Hi Sweetie-
I had incidents like yours throughout my young life as have both my daughters . It just eats away at you and can feel like you life is ruined. And there is the isolating part bc you don't feel comfortable telling many people. I got major panic attacks with my health worries. And as soon as I finally was able to let go of a concern, another health worry would spring up. Always health obsessions.

One thing that was of major importance in my process is that I was diagnosed with OCD (the obbsesive worry, thinking, etc). I had been suffering for a number of years. They did not have SSRIs when I first had started having obsessive thoughts with panic attacks. When I started Lexapro, my life changed 100%. I could finally enjoy my life. I was in plenty of therapy but my first therapist missed it completely.

No telling you what to do but life is short--I wish I had not suffered so those couple of years that got really bad.

What I have learned (and I bet you know underneath:) is the issue is not whether you have cancer--its the compulsive thinking. When you have the thoughts can you tell yourself something like the real issue is the compulsive thinking, not the disease. I have "had" several types of cancer, esp breast cancer, MS, and brain tumors. I have spent way too long looking at my skin for cancer, I have had mysterious diseases I have read about, lumps here and there, fear of HIV. Also thought I was going crazy.

I wish you the very best. Advice from someone who has lived a long life--get to a good cognitive behavioral therapy. I strongly suggest looking at meds-perhaps SSRIs. Looking back, I have no problem with meds bc my life was changes so drastically for the best.

Best to you!
Tracy

-- Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:44 am --

PS-try your best not to go online looking at diseases. I know this is hard.

T

Hello! It's been quite awhile since I've posted this topic. I'm happy to say that I'm much better now. I've been seeing a very sweet therapist for a couple of months now, and I've been taking medication to help me. I managed to beat hypochondria, but I developed contamination OCD. It's hard. I realized at that point in my life that using entire bottles of soap in a day and taking showers at 3AM to combat the anxiety that came with the fear of germs, wasn't normal. I'm getting much better with that, too. I have cut back on soap and wasting water, I'm doing so well! I believe in everyone's ability to make it through their troubles, and I encourage you to seek any possible help.