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venting and cry for help

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venting and cry for help

Postby Tinkerpiggy » Sun Aug 17, 2014 1:29 am

I join this group to support my spouse. I am trying but I feel that I am at my wits end. I know that is not far. I have a few questions that I hope are not TMI. This is a vent and a cry for a help.

Why stay up at night instead of during the day. I use to think that cause no one up so you dont have to deal with any people. You have melotin next to the real meds. You dont have a problem taking them. But the melotin in less i give it to him he does not take it. If you say talk it before bed he never goes to bed. Why is it so hard to sleep at night?

My spouse self pleasures any where from 1 to 6 times a day. I have read that bipolar people can be sex addicts. Can a man get a addict to getting off with him self. If I try i can play with him 1 1/2 hr and he does nt get off. I am so trying to understand. We argue about this before. I told him that I thought he was having affair with his hand and he told me the affair with me. Since the hand was there first. I am trying to understand I dont know how to anymore. He self pleasuriong daily... watching porn.. and we are not having sex.
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Re: venting and cry for help

Postby shinkari » Mon Sep 08, 2014 6:43 am

Hey there, that sounds like it's really tough dealing with your partner at the moment. Hopefully things can get better.

For a lot of what you've said i'm not certain what to do. However, I can say that I am a recovering porn addict and that quitting it has so far had a very significant impact on my life. The depth of negative effects from porn addiction is massive, by quitting you see so many aspects of your life change for the better. I don't have insomnia but I can believe that watching a ton of porn every day isn't the best for putting the mind to sleep. Certainly quitting helps a host of other problems including relationships, discipline, energy level, happiness, etc etc.

If your interested in finding out about porn addiction then one of the best resources and a good starting place is Your Brain On Porn :http://yourbrainonporn.com/

I discovered the website early on this year, and quitting is an ongoing process, but if you can get your partner to quit for say a couple of weeks (may sound impossible early on) I can pretty much assure you that he will notice some really awesome affects (early on you get a taste of freedom which is awesome and then it can get really hard again for a while). Even if he relapses after that (no one makes it the first, second, third, fourth time usually) I hope it's enough to stay interested and eventually try again. Really I hope that you see this and that it helps, it's a really serious addiction which can fully cripple a guy, but coming out of it is a process of rediscovery that is super awesome, at least it has been for me so far.
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Re: venting and cry for help

Postby BYEBYEINSOMNIA » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:20 pm

Let me throw my two cents worth into the picture here.

It may not be the actual porn itself he is down deep looking for, it's the ejaculation part, the part where his body releases Dopamine. It's that feeling of Dopamine that he's wanting.

This is a sign of a much deeper problem. When a man is not feeling good about himself, self pleasuring himself, thus releasing the dopamine, temporarily helps him feel good. It's a temporary fix.

He has much deeper issues.

Try some feel good remedies, like get out there in the world and help people, help people in need. Take them food, deliver meals, find ways to make him feel better about himself. Get into the gym and start feeling better about the body. Exercise so your body gets stronger, thus you will feel better about yourself. Change your eating habits, try some of those intense 50%+ uncooked food like diets. Heck, embrace the Lord, and start praying and join a church where you can meet positive outgoing people. Look for positives.

Ejaculation is a temporary source of quick Dopamine pleasure.
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