I Choose To Be Happy

I've experienced so much trauma in my life. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, bullying, and endless list of bad memories. After all the negative I've gone through in life, people ask me how I'm still alive. They ask how I just didn't end it all years ago. Well here's why:

1. I learned to trust myself. I had bad parents, no friends, and no one to turn to in need of help. So I learned that I needed to be independent. I knew only I could be there for me when times got tough.

2. I learned to love myself. As my self-love grew, my self-esteem also grew. My confidence had no limits.

3. I self-advocate. I don't allow anyone make decisions for me. I don't let anyone bully me. I protect myself.

4. Positivity is everything to me. I see how negative self-talk devours so many people, leading them to depression and suicide. I will never beat myself down. Instead, I am my biggest cheerleader.

5. I create new positive memories everyday. I can sit at home all day crying and complaining about my past. Instead, I utilize my free time to create new positive experiences.

6. I avoid negative people. Yes, we all have our bad days. But some people will never be happy. That's ok, but I don't waste my precious time on them.

7. You cannot change the past. All you can do is create a better future. Dwelling on the past drama and trauma will only ruin your life.

We all have different goals in life. Some of us want to be rich, some of us want to be famous. None of that is important to me. Instead, I choose to be happy. Life is so much better when I feel this amazing.

8. I surround myself with positive news. Yup, that means no newspapers and night time TV news, which are riddled with bad news. Some daytime news channels do focus on the positive exciting news. Yes, there are still good people out there doing great things.

9. I have compassion for others.

Last night I went to the supermarket at 11pm to buy one item. I found my item, went to the cashier. This is what happened:
Me - "Hi. How are you?"
Him - He gave me a cold stare. No response. He rang up my item, took my cash, and gave me my change back.
Me - "Thank You."
Him - Again, a cold stare. This time, he was looking at the cash registers.
Me - "Have a nice night."
Him - He kept staring at the register.

I walked out, and felt terribly sad for this guy. He was so robotic, emotionless, and disconnected from the world.

I'm a member of several websites where I review businesses and their customer service. I read how other reviewers get so upset when their get poor customer service. Just yesterday I read how upset someone one, that she decided to talk to the General Manager of the business she reviewed.

I don't get upset when I get poor customer service. Of course, I will never allow an employee to mistreat me. But if someone is having a bad day, so be it. It happens. It doesn't affect my happiness, it makes me understand that some people have it worse than me.

10. I don't expect others to solve my problems.

This is why we need to be our best friend, not our own worst enemy. For a long time, I had no support system. So what did I do? I nominated myself as my protector, caregiver, and sole provider. No one understands me as well as I understand myself.

I know several people who have enormous support systems, yet they are still struggling to get better. Why? Because they expect someone else to solve their problems. It's nice to have a support system, but we all need to learn to walk on our own two feet.