Hello. I'd like to ask for advice.
I'm a very closed person, even though I have quite a few people I get along with and could say I like them, I'd never call anyone my "friend". I don't know how trust feels to be honest, so my existence is really lonely - I reduce my emotional caring for people to a minimal level and expect the same treatment.
At the very same time, I know I desperately need someone to care about me, because I don't care about myself enough to seek help, or more like I want to destroy myself too much to want that help, to even talk about anything regarding my suffering. I'm attending weekly sessions with a psychologist, but for it to have an impact on me I would have to open myself up emotionally.
Do you have any advice on how to make myself want to get better, get help? This is like trying to untie the noose I have made for myself and not wanting to untie it at the same time.