so, i'll give this a second pass. not that i should but what's a good and kindly monkey to do!
crs1 wrote:I wondered, if someone else has found a way through?
... to find an answer you first have to understand the question. so, the most obvious thing to ask here is: through what. through life. well, life happens to us no matter what we do. so, my guess is that's not it. my guess is: how do we find peace of mind in this life, whatever it is to us.
crs1 wrote:From having most things to having very little, this includes the loss in opportunity of a relationship over 12 years. To now with regret of over working, over prioritising work and burning out, these cumulative experiences seemed to have shrunk my capacity, financially and certainly cognitively etc to be the tuned-in and the go-getter that I used to be. I can see and plan to now deliberately limit the load I take on, that is work, learning, people, socialising, where I’m conscious of crafting a smaller and as least complicated life as possible. Are these consequences and a smaller less challenging life at 49, a one way self-protection mechanism or a self-healing process?
... so, before we get to the question, let's think about how we see our lives. now, it's a fact of modern life that most people these days externalise their experience of life. house, car, career, spouse, children - these are all things that i would term 'accessories'. they look nice but they're only really decoration. the thing about life is that you never really have anything. as the old saying goes: you can't take it with you. as such, they're not really you, they're just things you become attached to. but they sure are easy to relate to. they're tangible. you can see and feel them. you can't do that with your 'soul', the very essence of your being. it's much more intangible. but this is who you really are. this is the thing that can never be taken away from you. this is what you ought to be nurturing. so, having said that, i'd say that you need to view your current circumstances as an opportunity to find the real you, because i don't get the impression that you have previously, or you wouldn't be asking such a question.
crs1 wrote:Is all this a test to see how far I can distil things into living a small existence?
... life isn't a test. life is a gift. it's up to us how we choose to use that gift.
crs1 wrote:hold on tightly let go lightly was a great mantra where letting go of stuff that didnt work was a measure of tact and efficientanticipation. i did the first part, but now i seem to be letting go of everything...
... i've let go of so much in my life, and, without being conceited, i'd have to say more than you. my life imploded at the age of 18. and i've spent the subsequent years having running battles with that thing i call 'the void'. my career got blown out at 46. and the only relationship that i ever had was 4 years of hell. and the really staggering irony of all of this is that i've learnt more about life than i could ever have imagined. sure, it hasn't been fun. but i have stopped searching. i no longer feel the need to question much at all. i still have a little letting go to do. but i think i'm getting there.
and now, perhaps, you can see why i might have preferred my prior reply!!!