hold on tightly let go lightly

I wondered, if someone else has found a way through? From having most things to having very little, this includes the loss in opportunity of a relationship over 12 years. To now with regret of over working, over prioritising work and burning out, these cumulative experiences seemed to have shrunk my capacity, financially and certainly cognitively etc to be the tuned-in and the go-getter that I used to be. I can see and plan to now deliberately limit the load I take on, that is work, learning, people, socialising, where I’m conscious of crafting a smaller and as least complicated life as possible. Are these consequences and a smaller less challenging life at 49, a one way self-protection mechanism or a self-healing process? Is all this a test to see how far I can distil things into living a small existence?
hold on tightly let go lightly was a great mantra where letting go of stuff that didnt work was a measure of tact and efficientanticipation. i did the first part, but now i seem to be letting go of everything...

welcome to the real world. you should read my poems (well, maybe not).

so, i'll give this a second pass. not that i should but what's a good and kindly monkey to do!

crs1 wrote:I wondered, if someone else has found a way through?

... to find an answer you first have to understand the question. so, the most obvious thing to ask here is: through what. through life. well, life happens to us no matter what we do. so, my guess is that's not it. my guess is: how do we find peace of mind in this life, whatever it is to us.

crs1 wrote:From having most things to having very little, this includes the loss in opportunity of a relationship over 12 years. To now with regret of over working, over prioritising work and burning out, these cumulative experiences seemed to have shrunk my capacity, financially and certainly cognitively etc to be the tuned-in and the go-getter that I used to be. I can see and plan to now deliberately limit the load I take on, that is work, learning, people, socialising, where I’m conscious of crafting a smaller and as least complicated life as possible. Are these consequences and a smaller less challenging life at 49, a one way self-protection mechanism or a self-healing process?

... so, before we get to the question, let's think about how we see our lives. now, it's a fact of modern life that most people these days externalise their experience of life. house, car, career, spouse, children - these are all things that i would term 'accessories'. they look nice but they're only really decoration. the thing about life is that you never really have anything. as the old saying goes: you can't take it with you. as such, they're not really you, they're just things you become attached to. but they sure are easy to relate to. they're tangible. you can see and feel them. you can't do that with your 'soul', the very essence of your being. it's much more intangible. but this is who you really are. this is the thing that can never be taken away from you. this is what you ought to be nurturing. so, having said that, i'd say that you need to view your current circumstances as an opportunity to find the real you, because i don't get the impression that you have previously, or you wouldn't be asking such a question.

crs1 wrote:Is all this a test to see how far I can distil things into living a small existence?

... life isn't a test. life is a gift. it's up to us how we choose to use that gift.

crs1 wrote:hold on tightly let go lightly was a great mantra where letting go of stuff that didnt work was a measure of tact and efficientanticipation. i did the first part, but now i seem to be letting go of everything...

... i've let go of so much in my life, and, without being conceited, i'd have to say more than you. my life imploded at the age of 18. and i've spent the subsequent years having running battles with that thing i call 'the void'. my career got blown out at 46. and the only relationship that i ever had was 4 years of hell. and the really staggering irony of all of this is that i've learnt more about life than i could ever have imagined. sure, it hasn't been fun. but i have stopped searching. i no longer feel the need to question much at all. i still have a little letting go to do. but i think i'm getting there.

and now, perhaps, you can see why i might have preferred my prior reply!!!

shock_the_monkey wrote:
and now, perhaps, you can see why i might have preferred my prior reply!!!

i prefer the 2nd.. xx

Are these consequences and a smaller less challenging life at 49, a one way self-protection mechanism or a self-healing process? Is all this a test to see how far I can distil things into living a small existence?

i think its probably a bit of both.. shutting everything down and withdrawing somewhat, is protective, but also healing as long as you don't forget to emerge and rejoin the world when your wounds have healed enough.

i did the first part, but now i seem to be letting go of everything...

and this could be a problem, but you've recognised that it could be, so that's positive..
do not do what i did and shut everyone out.. make sure you keep hold of those you love and care for.. and keep some kind of social life going - even if it's as simple as going for a drink once a week/fortnight/month xx

mr. mister - welcome to the real world ...

I'm cryin' tears of joy, I'm cryin' tears of pain, I'm cryin' tears of joy
They run down my face into a river that winds its way into your life

Welcome little one, to this place of earth and stone
Welcome little one, all blue eyes and innocence
The world is so much colder than your own soft glance

[Chorus]
Hey, it's a human race, hey, it's a brave new place
Hey, now you're at the gate
Welcome to the real world, there's so much to learn, welcome to the real world
Welcome to the real world, there's so much to learn, welcome to the real world

The past is a memory, the chains that were choking me
I'm cryin' tears of pain, I'm cryin' tears of joy
I see my freedom lying in my arms tonight

[Chorus]
(Welcome to the real world) I know you'll find your way
(There's so much to learn) in the real world
(Welcome to the real world)

[Solo]
Welcome to the, welcome to the (there's so much to learn)
Welcome to the (welcome to the real world) welcome, welcome
(Welcome to the real world)

Thanks for the 2nd reply.

crs1 wrote:Thanks for the 2nd reply.

... i index everything to music and films. sometimes it slips my mind that most other people don't do this sort of thing.