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Is this greed, or hope?

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Is this greed, or hope?

Postby Objectified » Fri May 04, 2018 7:39 am

I had an extremely hard time to get admitted to a university two years ago due to my grades (and some other problems i couldnt control). Not getting into a university and being hopeless about it was making me have suicidal thoughts. I used to think about how to kill myself painlessly.

Everything changed when i got accepted into a university. That also, not a very bad university, it was all i needed when i was extremely desperate...however, this major is not what i always wanted to do. My childhood dream was different... My life at university made me feel good, independent and smarter.

I have a GPA of 3.95 now even though i was a failure at high school. But since ever i got into this university, i keep looking around for a way to go to the university i wanted to and study the major i always wanted to and that's impossible with my high school grades. I keep looking around for a loophole that allows me to study it but it keeps making me feel greedy and stupid.

Many people will say this is looking for hope..but i dont know why im not able to see it that way. When i was desperate, all i wanted is to get accepted into anything but now that im studying and its all good, i want to have more.

Every time, i get rejected by a university, it stings like $#%^ but i keep doing it and i keep looking for a university over and over again..

this is greed, isnt it?
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Re: Is this greed, or hope?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Fri May 04, 2018 11:52 am

you're learning the wrong lesson here. you build from where you are, not where you'd like to be.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Is this greed, or hope?

Postby RottenFish » Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:34 pm

You sound a lot like me. It is not greed. It is the inability to be satisfied with anything less than perfection. That is what some of us OCD sufferers go through on a daily basis. Enough is never enough. But only OCD sufferers understand this.
Primary Dx: OCD
Meds: None

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Re: Is this greed, or hope?

Postby realityhere » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:19 pm

Rottenfish,

Have you looked at the programs that your current university offers? In other words, use your current university credentials as a springboard into this other major you wish to study. Once you've built enough college credentials and a good GPA, it's possible to transfer to a better university. Build up your credentials and create a plan for a transfer, if your current university doesn't offer a program in the major you want to get into. Dwelling on bad grades from high school and wishing the moon isn't going to help.

Btw, try to find young professionals in the field that you want to go into, talk to them and find out what their experience has given them. Such feedback can be an eye-opener and help you plan accordingly.
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