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Question about the forum for those with HPD

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Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby xdude » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:26 pm

A couple of years ago the forum was split leaving this forum for those with HPD, and a more general forum for the Significant Others, or SO's for short (often romantic partners, but could be family and friends too).

The thinking at the time was that the SO's were taking out a lot of anger on those here with HPD, something you didn't deserve. On the down side, after the split, this forum very rapidly went quiet, some wrote 'dead' ;)

So this question is for those with HPD, on a gut level, which would you prefer, great interaction with the SO's, or to keep it as it is, a split discussion?

p.s. I am reasonably sure I already know the SO's would prefer more interaction with those with HPD, they have questions, and more conversation with others with HPD would help them.

p.s.s. Your answer will not necessarily affect a change, but I will discuss with my fellow moderators what you want.
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby PersephoneL0ve » Mon Sep 19, 2022 12:34 pm

Hi I am super late to this question. I’ve been reading through these boys for about six years now and to be honest the reason I never made an account was because it seem like the only people here were assholes who were upset that a histrionic woman did something to them and they literally just came here to project anger. While I understand that people who are cluster B disorder can appear as maladjusted and can do damage, I never see this on the other PD board. I also joined a page on Facebook and within days my inbox for filled with assholes projecting on me and wanting to find ways to get back at their HD partner. I just tell people why do you wanna be with someone who’s going to harm you. And then of course that sexist question—“Do you cheat on all your men?” I never see this on ASPD and NPD spaces.

My theory is that most of the SO are men and this is a cluster B disorder that primarily impacts women. I think given our culture of masculinity and power when it comes to intimate relationships, that goes out of the window when you’re dealing with a histrionic woman. I think we flip the paradigm for socialize dating, and people don’t like it. We can’t be moved, manipulated, and the dangle of male attention use to get us to act right. We get mail attention just simply by existing.

So they come here to attack us. I’m glad to see that this board has slowed down quite a bit and that the SOS are going to more appropriate places. This is a pretty intense disorder and I do like it when people ask questions but I also like it when we can just talk about our experiences without all the Nons coming to the posts projecting on us!

Of all of the cluster B disorders this one is still the leas understood, and lacks support.
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby Snaga » Tue Sep 20, 2022 2:20 am

Xdude is no longer with the moderation team (names in purple denotes former mods who left in good standing). There's no named moderator over this forum, but I speak for myself when I say that when it comes to the PDs, posts from Nons tend to get moved to Significant Others Friends & Family. That's the general mindset these days I think with all the moderation team that looks in on the Personality Disorders. I personally think it's just better that way. There's exceptions but yeah no we don't allow folks to dump on people with a PD. Not nowadays, anyway. Dump all you want in SOFF that's what it's for and we understand that being a Non, you're angry and frustrated and confused- we get that we really do. And you can be upset in SOFF, but the PDs are first and foremost for those with a particular PD.
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby PersephoneL0ve » Thu Sep 22, 2022 9:13 pm

Hi—. I really appreciate that. If you see some of the old posts it was just nons attacking. Once more I get it. We can be pretty malignant in relationships. Yet, HPD is on a continuum. And some are quite managed. We *can* be triggered when people make sexist and derogatory comments under the guise of being “normal”.

I seemed like a lot of guys, who were angry at their ex and come to HP boards to be nasty.

That’s the only reason I left. The nasty comments.

Thank you mods.

sephe (HPD dx ASPD trait)
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby Snaga » Thu Sep 22, 2022 11:38 pm

Well I'm guessing guys tend to want to hit HPD and BPD with gripes, and it seems to me more women than not want to rip into the NPD forum so the sexes are pretty well represented :mrgreen:
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby PersephoneL0ve » Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:02 am

Interesting theory. I think the *difference* was that on that NPD/ASPD boards nons were looking for support and most of the PD ppl posted. On this board is was mostly angry men who projected. Even the forum rules for HPD is more robust (once more thank for the mods). It was a bit more than tit for tat. I think.

sephe— HPD Dx ASPD trait.
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby Snaga » Sat Sep 24, 2022 12:58 am

PersephoneL0ve wrote:I think the *difference* was that on that NPD/ASPD boards nons were looking for support


You're only going by what you can see, now, not the many posts that were not allowed to remain in those forums. HPD doesn't win in the vitriol department, trust me. It might feel like that but believe me not even close. It might be one of the more recent forums to have had problems, but no it's not singled out, trust me.
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Re: Question about the forum for those with HPD

Postby PersephoneL0ve » Sun Sep 25, 2022 1:56 am

The vitriol IS not based on sexism.

Let’s agree to disagree.

Best.

sephe- HPD Dx, ASPD trait.
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