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losing both parents in my 20s

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losing both parents in my 20s

Postby impromptu » Mon Mar 22, 2021 10:45 am

10 years ago i lost my dad to heart attack when i was 18 (my brother was 16) and my mom just passed away early this month due to heart attack, just like my dad. i can’t believe i’ve lost both my parents before i turn 28.

i’ve been feeling such immense pain, and i feel like i’m traumatized, i’ve experienced so many loses, i lost my grandmother and beloved dog quite recently too. my grandmom and i were very close, i was very sad too when she died but her death was different from my parents. my grandmom lived a long life (she was around 75), whereas my parents were gone too soon, and left me and my brother out of the blue. i really find it hard to cope

so many struggles we (my mom, my brother) had faced together since my dad passed away, i’ve learned how to live without my dad (i used to be a daddy’s little girl) though i never truly get over the loss. i thought its time for my mom to get happiness that she deserved but it turned out...

and now i’m afraid constantly that bad things will happen again to my brother/husband/my 7 month old son. since i’ve experienced the death of loved ones many times in a short time makes me feel the fear is real

i doubt it will get any better with time. i guess i will never be the same person as i was before, i will live with this constant void in my heart
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Re: losing both parents in my 20s

Postby NewSunRising » Mon Mar 22, 2021 11:22 am

Gentle Hugs , Impromptu , if you want some .

I'm so sorry for your losses . Losing family is so very hard and painful . I lost my Mom 2 years ago and I still miss her and have a hard time believing she's gone .

impromptu wrote: i doubt it will get any better with time. i guess i will never be the same person as i was before, i will live with this constant void in my heart


The pain , I think , never really goes away but it gets manageable after a while . The sadness of her passing will always be with me . I will always miss her . I have the memories though , and they warm my heart when I'm feeling blue . I try to celebrate her life by bringing out the best parts of her that she passed on to me - her love of reading and growing things , her calm and encouraging nature . I watch movies we both loved , I remember the sweet and funny times at the oddest moments and I talk to her when I'm troubled .

She's gone from this life but she's always with me . She made me and she is an inextricable part of my being . I'm a daddy's girl too and I also fear the day when I lose him .

impromptu wrote:and now i’m afraid constantly that bad things will happen again to my brother/husband/my 7 month old son. since i’ve experienced the death of loved ones many times in a short time makes me feel the fear is real


Please don't let this consume you . If you can , it might help to see a grief counselor . This is an irrational fear born out of the shock and pain of loss and I think you can recognize that . It will pass .

Sending more hugs .
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Re: losing both parents in my 20s

Postby Snaga » Mon Mar 22, 2021 7:33 pm

Hugs- that's too young. Not that it gets better with age- I was close to 50 when I lost my mother, and it made me feel very little, losing 'my mommy'. I mean, we understand that's how it's supposed to be- children lose parents, and it's tragic when it's the other way around- but that doesn't make it easy.

Time does help- it's a cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason. It dulls the pain.

Agreed about the counselor, if it gets too much to bear. Life can be taken away from any of us, at any time- and none of us get out of this life alive- but it's unhealthy to have an unreasonable fear of it happening to your loved ones. I agree that it's just being hit with all this that's weighing on you.
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Re: losing both parents in my 20s

Postby impromptu » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:58 am

thank you so much for the replies, NewSunRising and Snaga. i'm sorry both of you have lost your mothers too. i'm still not okay but i guess i'll try my best to keep moving on in life. at least i always have beautiful memories of my loved ones with me, perhaps that's the only way to carry them alive in my heart.
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Re: losing both parents in my 20s

Postby Snaga » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:32 pm

Not being okay is part of it. It's rough, we know.
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Re: losing both parents in my 20s

Postby verytrapped » Wed Mar 31, 2021 1:50 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you feel.
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