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When does the hurting stop?

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When does the hurting stop?

Postby Johei » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:12 pm

I was lying in bed just now when an image popped into my head.
The face of a gentle giant, framed by a mane of golden hair.
Suddenly, my body started shaking, and I cried like I haven’t done in ages.
It was G.
G. was my best friend when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s.
We both had similar childhoods, and bonded the moment we met. After a long and difficult battle with his inner demons, he had found love, started a family, and come to terms with his parents.
Ten years ago, he took a nap on the couch while his 2 year old daughter was asleep in her crib.
He closed his eyes, had time for one last dream, and then his great heart just gave out.
He was 30 years old.
His death devastated me like nothing before or since has ever done.
I had to be strong to support his family, but nobody helped me work through my grief. I was afraid to ask for help when others needed it more.
I am still crying. Ten years, but it still hurts so bad.
Will it ever stop?

I miss you, buddy
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Re: When does the hurting stop?

Postby Wally58 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:36 pm

Grief is more of a process than any single event.
I have those moments where I am reminded of absent friends. They just pop into my head at times that may be triggered by a past memory, object or feeling.
I use their memory to honor them and try to make them proud of me in what I do every day. They would have wanted that. Somehow I feel that they are still aware and watching from afar.
They are at peace and resting. I am here to carry on their good works with my mind, my heart and my hands.
There are 12-step groups for loss if you need support. The emptiness has to be filled with something good. We are there for each other.
I had to say goodbye to someone I loved at the hospital, so after saying goodbye, I went through the maternity ward to see the new babies. It helped.
Best of luck to you. :D
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