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My dad passed away

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My dad passed away

Postby Lunaetal » Fri Apr 05, 2019 9:47 am

At the end of 2017 my dad was diagnosed with quite advanced bowel cancer and his prognosis wasn't great.
A week or two ago my dad got really ill with an infection but the doctors struggled to find the cause and control it. He deteriorated really quickly on Wednesday and we lost him.


We're all shocked and devastated. I'm struggling to get my head around it all. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon and so suddenly. I don't know what to do, everything feels like the wrong thing to do.
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Re: My dad passed away

Postby Wally58 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:15 pm

My condolences on the loss of your dad.
Grief is a process and not an event. Shock and devastation are a normal stage of the bereavement process. It is completely normal and to be expected. Everything else may feel meaningless for awhile. Even years down the road, there will be those crazy little reminders and memories that pop up.
You will get through this, even though sometimes it seems like you won't. My own thinking can get screwed up when I am going through grief. "If only this...if only that...if only..."
I know that nothing I can do will bring them back. All I can do is to move forward one day at a time and carry on with them in my heart and wish for them to be proud of me.
Honor the deceased and comfort the living. Be there for the survivors and for yourself.
Best of luck to you. :D
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Re: My dad passed away

Postby shock_the_monkey » Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:32 am

i lost my mum 18 months ago and my dad 10 months ago. it doesn't matter how or when people die, there is never a good way or time to loose them. i have felt enormously guilty about them dying as i was their sole carer. i can't get it out of my head that i should have done more, even though i pushed myself beyond my endurance. and i regret all the mistakes i made, albeit in hindsight. there is no answer to these feelings. they're irrational but nevertheless they just won't go away. and the finality of it all is eating away at my faith too.

i guess some things will never be alright. the best we can hope for is to reach some sort of acceptance. no one lives forever. but i do believe that the people we love live on in our hearts.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: My dad passed away

Postby realityhere » Mon May 13, 2019 12:31 am

"i guess some things will never be alright. the best we can hope for is to reach some sort of acceptance. no one lives forever. but i do believe that the people we love live on in our hearts."

Absolutely. I lost my father over ten years ago and I still miss him terribly. But those closest to us who've passed do live on in our hearts. I suppose after the grief and shock are over, whenever that happens to reach that point, you begin to appreciate what your parent did for you when you were just a kid trying out all things novel to you, then tolerated your volatile teen years to gain independence, and then began to cheer and support you thru your adult years as you started a career and your own family. I try to carry on thru my life what he taught me in earlier years, and I smile when I catch myself telling/doing something myself that Dad would have said or done. That's how someone close to you and is gone lives on in your heart.
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Re: My dad passed away

Postby Maxine1966 » Sat Aug 17, 2019 8:19 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure he was an amazing man and lived a wonderful life. Losing a father or a mother is one of the most painful feelings that you can have. I lost my dad over a year ago too.
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Re: My dad passed away

Postby fozters77 » Tue Sep 03, 2019 11:45 pm

My big sorry for your loss...
All I can say is that - only time will heal you. :roll:
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