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Lonely Feeling my whole Life.

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Lonely Feeling my whole Life.

Postby introvert25 » Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:01 pm

Okay , I'll try to be as short as possible. First im an introvert and i've always had the feeling that im different and lonely and i always had 3 friends from my childhood but i started studying in different city and we lost our connection so it makes me feel fully Lonely now. So i moved to new city to live and i have literally no one there , no friends , nothing and you all know how hard is to find friends nowadays especially a guy like me (introvert) and it will be rly weird to go solo to a group of people and say " Hey my name is BLABLA can i join you" they'll think im a freak. So whatever I met a girl over facebook from that new city i am , we chatted , met each other she also met me with her friends and these were 2 of the best days in my life I didnt feel lonely and I forgot about problems. But problem is im older than her like 6 years and i started liking her and told her about it but she said im too old for her and she accepts me only as a friend , but that hurted me and I dont wanna force / push her to do anything after all its her choice so I said that it's better to cut the connection cause it will only get worse for me and she accepted that. So here i am now crying (y im not shy to say it) and feeling lonely again. I just had 2 very cool days in my life with a person i liked a lot and now im alone again. I know many of you maybe wont understand me or say it im weird or crazy or i dont know what else but It's really hard for me now and I dont know what to do , I just dont wanna feel like that anymore its exhausting , I never had any succeed in my relationships cause I always get used to with girls and take it serious and fall in love more than they do with me and In the end i got hurt. Im scared to get in relationship already and get hurt once again. Im so confused that i dont even know what to talk about and how to start it , I have so many problems in my head which makes me cry..
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Re: Lonely Feeling my whole Life.

Postby MaxRaeder » Sat Jul 29, 2017 5:38 pm

Firstly you need to calm down and give yourself some space. Focus on something, find a book and make yourself read it properly. Watch a TV series, all 39 episodes or whatever. Think about something definite for a couple of days, but not this stuff

Second... You have to look at your life and what you are doing. You say you have basically alienated yourself and now you're unhappy... so why alienate yourself? You chose that route, ask yourself why, really why? For example if someone said to me "Here's a great job but you have to move into the city" I instantly say "No thanks" I wouldn't live in a city, a town or a village... I stay away from everyone apart from my wife. So moving from your friends and now a new place, that was a part of your choices.

Thirdly... Age is pretty much immaterial. Yes it you're 18 and she's 12, really not a good idea. But if you're 30, she's 22 not really an issue that I see.... she's just not the right person..... My wife is 8 years younger than me, before her I went out with a woman 9 years older than me....

You're a drowning person who will grab at anything. That is unfortunately really not attractive to either perspective friends or partners.... People like people who are calm and self assured, not frenetic and desperate... it makes people nervous.

My advice is do some yoga or Pilates in a class, try some meditation, martial arts or get some counselling... but stop focusing on your misery and start focussing on your good points of which there will be many, far, far more than your supposed bad points.

Right now you can't find anyone for any reason because of your mania, so you have to calm down and start to like yourself. Plus you have to give yourself a chance and find someone who is basically like yourself, you have to look in the right place... a good place to start is maybe chat rooms or dating sites. Decide what you like to talk about best and do that... friendships are from shared support, outlooks and interests... spouses much the same just more intense. Most people are just as messed up as you feel, truly they are, they just put on a better exterior.

Lastly and I say this in a perfectly pleasant way, none of us matter, none of us... so if you walk into a room, no one cares about your presence, 99.9% are way too worried about themselves to care about what you're doing..... Believe that for it is true.

I wish you all good fortune.
The internet... full of people I'd never deign to talk to in real life or even stand near.....
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