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My turn to say goodbye to my dog

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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:59 am

Life has been ticking on for a few weeks now, and I am starting to adjust to living life without my dog. I try to go out somewhere every day. Still dealing with people who ask where the dog is, but I deal with each situation as it arises, and then move on.

This morning, however, a situation has arisen that has created anger within me, and I need to vent.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me if I would be able to dog sit for her, and it was to be tomorrow that I was going to dog sit. She did say at the time, "If you decide you can't do it, let me know". She was concerned that I may not be able to handle it emotionally as her dog is the same breed as mine was.

Today, I woke up to a text message from her, saying that she has discussed it with her husband, and they don't think I will be able to cope for the couple of hours they will need.

I texted the friend this morning telling her I was more than happy to have the dog for a couple of hours, But her Husband has his doubts and she has decided to stand by his decision. I'm angry!!!!!
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby naps » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:34 pm

I would be angry too. Do they think you will have some kind of emotional breakdown? Why can't they see that it could actually be therapeutic for you, or at least a part of your healing process?

Well, I suppose that's all water under the bridge now, and I hope that you, your friend and her husband have smoothed things over. You sound like you would be an excellent dog sitter.

Also glad to see you're chugging along. Maybe you're approaching the point where you might begin to think about the possibility of maybe taking steps to decide if you're ready to adopt another dog?
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:51 pm

Thanks Marcus555. I was offering to do them a favour, and for whatever reason, they decided they would withdraw it. I only hope that when they lose their dog, they come to understand what it feels like.

The friendship has not withstood this, and she hasn't communicated with me since, and I'm not going to contact her for fear of rejection again. I've got other friends who treat me with respect and that suits me fine.

I'm not looking to get another dog yet, but I am finding it easier now to interact with other peoples' dogs.

My only concern now is that this 'friend' may be bad-mouthing me to other people.
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby naps » Mon Apr 04, 2016 6:37 pm

TROJAN wrote:My only concern now is that this 'friend' may be bad-mouthing me to other people.


About the rift in your friendship or her concerns that you are ill-equipt to babysit her dog? If it's the latter, I would have serious second thoughts about maintaining the friendship. I hate being 'policed' or 'parented' by friends.

TROJAN wrote:I'm not looking to get another dog yet, but I am finding it easier now to interact with other peoples' dogs.


You're one step closer!
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Mon Apr 04, 2016 9:32 pm

About me suggesting her husband has no right to suggest that I am not emotionally stable enough to handle being around other people's dogs. He doesn't know me that well, and to be expressing an opinion on how I'm handling my grief(considering he has only got what my friend tells him)is out of order. In my opinion, if I say I am happy to dog sit, they should respect that.

In my experience, women get a kick out of gossiping about people when the friendship goes pear shaped.
It happened to me once before.

If I get another dog, I want to be using the same vets practice as I was using, and this 'friend' uses the same practice, and I know from her that the staff at the vets practice have been enquiring about how I'm coping. Now that the friendship has hit a rock, I hate to think what she is telling them.
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby naps » Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:34 pm

Then maybe you should make a point to pay a visit to the vets practice just to show them that you're not the sniveling, emotionally unstable person you fear she may be painting you to be. In an abstract way, you could be killing two birds with one stone: setting the record straight as to how you are coping ( I would say rather well), as well as cementing the progress in your grief by holding your head high and denying this dog-related miff from causing you to backslide into sadness.
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Tue Apr 05, 2016 9:14 am

I may well do that. Thank you for the sugestion, Marcus555.
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Wed May 11, 2016 5:54 pm

It is now nearly 3 months since I said goodbye to Buster, and I'm hitting a rocky time again. Most of the time, I seem to keep my emotions inside, but over the past couple of days, they have been coming to the surface and bubbling over. I just have this overwhelming sense of loss and emptiness that never seems to go away.

I've tried talking to various people, and some understand, and manage to ease my feelings, but others just either don't seem interested(usually it is people who had a financial interest in my dog when he was alive)or they will say things which they haven't put much thought into. Mum thinks that talking about getting another dog every so often is helping, but I just bat the idea away. I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking on another dog when it is only three months since my 17 year relationship with my dog has been ended.

I am struggling to find meaning in my life as it is now, and feel like I'm on a precepice of a cliff and at the bottom of the cliff is depression.
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby realityhere » Thu May 12, 2016 5:51 am

hi Trojan,

There are gonna be those up-down phases. Once you think you're getting over a bad loss, there's something that turns up to remind you all over again and you find yourself back at square one again. Been there too. Take one day at a time. Thinking of ya.

Best to you~
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Re: My turn to say goodbye to my dog

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Thu May 12, 2016 9:27 am

I suppose you are right Realityhere, grief doesn't go smoothly. I just didn't expect for certain people or parties of people to be so dismissive of me once Buster was no longer in the picture. It just feels like all they were ever interested in was the money.

I am struggling to think of the good times I spent with Buster, rather than dwell on the fact that he is no longer with me. I am quite a negative thinker, and see the bad before I see the good. One day, I will feel comfortable with the idea of getting photo albums out and looking at them, to remind me of the fun times, but now, it just feels too raw.

Thank you for your encouraging words.

Trojan.
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