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Angered a "Friend" Need Advise

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Angered a "Friend" Need Advise

Postby Zack270 » Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:19 am

To start off, I'm sorry if this post is a little long/probably dumb, but I want to give you the full background story. Also my anxiety can't take this any longer. My best friend (not going to say names sorry) is dating a girl who I would also consider one of my good friends as well throughout the last years. I've been very supportive on both of their decisions and have always dropped/been there if they ever needed help in life (helped them move into their apartment. helped my friends gf with homework, drive over and help fix internet/electronics, etc., etc., etc.). Within this last week, my friend's gf said that I could come over and watch tv with them for the night and told me very specifically not to bring over any video-game related stuff via text. Dumbly ignoring her instructions, I brought over my Xbox controller (best friend has an Xbox as well as me) just in case if he wanted to play our favorite game together. When I got there, we watched a few seasons of my friend's gf favorite show and then I asked the question to her about us possibly taking a break and allowing my friend and I to play a few games before I leave. I heard her whispering "no" but I figured I would try later. Roughly another 20 minutes I asked my best friend if he wanted too and he agreed with me that taking a break to play sounds like a good idea. Frustrated as she was from this, she storms out of the living room, giving me signals that she is giving up the tv to allow us play. No less than an hour later I decide to head home and on my way back, I hear my phone blowing up with her saying how disrespectful it was to do this and that, "this is my apartment, and it's my rules on what we do.". Feeling like an A** for ruining her plans, I apologized up/down to her, and also told her it would never happen again. I also explained to her that I wish she would have told me how upset she was at the moment, instead of rudely blowing up my phone after I leave. Like I said, i apologized to her for doing this, but she still is acting cold towards me and won't respond, nor will my friend answer his phone after this conflict. My worry with this situation is me losing my best friend because of his girlfriend blocking any possible interactions. I know what I did was wrong. I just didn't feel like it was that big of a deal for my buddy and I to play a few games? My girlfriend agrees and thinks I didn't do anything wrong...but this is conflict has been making me feel like compete sh** having me feel I've lost my best friend. What makes me feel even worse is his girlfriend not accepting my apology as well, making me feel even worse. Did I really do anything that serious? Am I still in the wrong? If so, what else can I possibly do? :( Thank you for reading.
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Re: Angered a "Friend" Need Advise

Postby Gomba13 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 2:38 am

I think the girlfriend in question is one hell of a hag, sorry to say, The way I see it, if you lose your best friend (hopefully not), it would be anyone’s fault but yours.

Look, maybe you did anger her, but let’s get something straight here. The three of you watched several episodes of HER favourite show. She imposes her show not only on her boyfriend, which is really their business and if he lets her, then he is just as much to blame. But imposing it on a guest, especially if no one is allowed to do anything they would like to because of that one person who has already forced her favourite activity onto everyone else, that is somewhat neurotic. Not only that, but she is the one who invited you.

I’m not saying the guest gets to pick what everyone does, but her point seems to be specifically that she has already imposed her will on him and she wants more. It doesn’t seem like she invited you over for a good time – she specifically asked you not to dare have a good time before you even arrived. It was embedded in the invitation! So, my burning question is what did she really invite you for?

Two possibilities. One is that she is a nutcase and if your friend is willing to subjugate to her, your best friend is the one who is losing you, and on purpose. The other possibility, because everybody’s reaction is exaggerated in this, is that she was planning some kind of special activity where she was being catered to by two guys rather than one and got to be treated like an actual princess in the most explicit way, and he was reluctant to go along with it, while you accidentally kind of blocked it, too.

Either way, I would stay the hell away from her. She has issues with emotions, respect and control, more specifically self-control. I would tell my best friend to either come play video games at my place, without her, because there is no way I am going back to his place to get castrated, or forget about me.

Calling him more is not a good idea, she will beat him up for it. Let the dust settle, try back in a few days. But I would avoid her like the plague and tell my friend he should consider moving out before she grabs a weapon.

I said you angered her, but that’s on her. If she can be angered to this extent by something like this, imagine the day you have no time for helping with her homework or no skills with fixing the internet.
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