Our partner

A friend or a judge?

A place to discuss the loss of friends.

A friend or a judge?

Postby Hallusinating » Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:00 pm

I feel sorry for myself because i have been dumped in the most horrible way you can imagine.

A few days ago i met a woman who i knew from a different place in my life, she asked if i wanted to share a cup of coffee with her and so i did.

Then she came home with me and we had a nice chat about everything in my flat.

We started talking about Sweden and i told her that there is a bus nearby that goes to Sweden for only 5£. She said "LETS TAKE IT :D " and i said that was a good idea. Then she wrote down the number for the bus(which i had).

THEEEEEENNNN...she started saying that two people who both are in psychiatry couldn`t be friends :!: :?:

But she kept on saying that we should take that trip.

Then i walked her home because she said i could see her flat, but she changed her mind half way to her door, i had given her my phone number(and even let her inside my flat when it looked kinda messy), but she wouldn`t give me her number :(


So this all happened on new years eve, she hasn`t called me to set a date for the trip or see how i am doing.

I feel as if i am being jilted at the alter here.

I think she might take someone else on the trip because she was talking about this other friend she had :evil:

All day long i was listening to her speaking about her problems.

Then when she is about to go home(we separated in the street on the way to her home, she got reserved so i knew she didn`t want me in her flat and we had been seeing each other for many hours, so i was ok with that), but then she said " you have put yourself in a box" :shock:


RRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAALLLLLYYY?
:twisted:


Here i am giving you my number a trip and inviting you to my home and i am the one in a box????


You didn`t invite me home to you, didn`t give me your phone number and kept mumbling on about a friend and how complicated relationships are.


Now i didn`t actually say that, i was too tired so i just said oh really.

But that is what i wish i had said but then we would have to argue.

Now i feel insulted and i don`t think i want to see her any more.


I know she has problems and i thought she understood that i had them too, but if she is only willing to see half of this relationship then she is not a good friend.

Its a bummer because up until she started to speak negative about me and our relationship, i really liked her, and i need friends.

Everything was ok until i started to talk about my problems, when she talked about her problems i was a good listener and i tried to help and understand her, when i talked about mine she just said "see you" :?:


So i think that is what i am going to say to her when or if she makes that call, or if i met her on the street. I just hope that i am strong enough to do it?
User avatar
Hallusinating
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 495
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:17 pm
Local time: Wed Nov 25, 2020 1:37 pm
Blog: View Blog (110)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: A friend or a judge?

Postby WiseMonkey » Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:20 am

I am sorry she did this to you. This sounds very hurtful. I hate when people do that. I've been hurt myself in similar way by people who thought that relationships were only supposed to work for them , not for two people. The most disgusting thing is those mixed confusing messages that she was sending you-"I'll talk to you and we'll take a trip but we can't be friends", "You'll walk me to my place but you can't see my apartment" etc.. This is really insulting. I hope you'll be able to better protect yourself in the future from this type of people. Sorry again.

WM
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."-Martin Luther King, Jr.
http://therapyconsumerguide.com/
WiseMonkey
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 875
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:29 am
Local time: Wed Nov 25, 2020 5:37 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A friend or a judge?

Postby MannyBoyMan » Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:13 pm

Hey I just really wanted to encourage you to not lose hope.
You did really well trusting sounds as if this person was trying to free themselves enough to let go and allow themselves to be outside the box and then instantly got scared because they were outside their comfort zone.

Remember we all have something we are going through and its easiest to put the focus on another when we don't want to look at ourselves. so now it just comes down to lowering expectations regardless of what people say in the beginning.

Hope this helps
MannyBoyMan
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:39 am
Local time: Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:37 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A friend or a judge?

Postby Hallusinating » Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:56 pm

Thanks all for replies, have been struck by a mean flu that has rendered me into a bed state, so i have not really been that awake.
User avatar
Hallusinating
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 495
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:17 pm
Local time: Wed Nov 25, 2020 1:37 pm
Blog: View Blog (110)


Return to Friends




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest