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Alone

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Alone

Postby kelly435 » Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:13 am

I've never felt this alone before. When I was younger I use to think about what would happen if one of my friends died or moved away or just didn't talk to me anymore and whenever I thought about it I just never thought I would care. I hated thinking that but it was true I would have been sad about it but then I would have gotten over my friends and then move on in the next day. It's always been the same for relationships to. I would date someone and think I love them but whenever they broke up with me I just didn't care and I moved on the next day or sometimes the same day. I even forced myself to cry over some guy once because I thought I was a bad person for not being upset when he left me.
I began to feel like I would never find someone that I would really care about or love and that thought killed me inside. Well a few years later I met a girl who quickly became my best friend. I told her everything and shes the only person i've ever met that I can be completely myself around. One day she told me she liked me and I didn't know what to say because i had never thought of her like that before so we kind of just brushed it off at the time. About a week later I started to think that I might like her to and we ended up going out.
We talked 24/7 even before we started dating but now we were closer then ever. I've never felt that happy with somebody ever and I realized that I truly did love her. Ever thing was great until she had to move away. We loved each other and wanted to stay together so we tried a long distance relationship. It worked for a few months but then she stopped talking to me. Every time I tried to talk to her she was always busy and couldn't talk. Eventually we broke up but we still talked as friends.

Now hears where I am today. We don't talk anymore, I feel like she does not care about me and doesn't want to see me anymore. I don't know what i did to her to make her not talk to me anymore. My other best friend also moved and she barley talks to me. The little friends I do have at school I've just been getting annoyed with and I don't want to be around them anymore. I've started cutting because I feel like no one cares and Im alone.
My friends at school would say that they were there for me and im not alone but what they don't know is that without my ex talking to me I'm slowly falling apart. I don't really care about the people at school like i said earlier if they were to ever stop talking to me I wouldn't care.
I need my ex to talk to me and its not because I miss our relationship its because I CANNOT accept the fact that we were best friend and now were nothing. I cry every night thinking about it and all i ever think about anymore is her walking back into my life and that's just making it harder to let go.


Who can I go to when I don't have a true friend that i want to be around.
kelly435
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Re: Alone

Postby DancingPuppets » Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:03 pm

I'm sorry about that. I'm not good at giving advice in situations like this but I'm sure if you stick long enough to this forum you'll notice that a lot of people here feel the same way as you and many will try to help you and support you :D So it's safe to say you are not alone, good luck!
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