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Dad passed!!!

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Dad passed!!!

Postby cooperman » Thu Jan 30, 2020 2:49 pm

Lost my Dad on the 29th of December! The TOD was called on the 30th, but I know he was dead before the paramedics arrived!

Still processing it and having conflicting feelings I didn't do enough!

He had been in the hospital on Dec 3rd for back surgery, he has a weak heart and heart failure. While in recovery he had a light heart attack, a heart cath was performed, nothing new he has had them many times before.

He was released on Friday evening (walker and 24hr Oxigen - 2%), spent most of the day in bed on Saturday, not eating. Saturday night my mom calls me and said he had fallen in the bathroom. He was out of it, in and out of consciousness, called 911. At the hospital they said he had another heart attack, they transported to Rome. Where they said he was in kidney failure also, the cause was a reaction of the contrast used in the cath. This caused extreme water gain which put a strain on his heart.

So after two weeks in the hospital, they released him (still on a walker and 4% oxygen). His appetite was off, but we were able to get him to drink an Ensure in place or with his meals. This rocked on for several days and on the evening of the 29th. I had got him settled for the night around 10pm and I was going to crash on the couch in the living room.

Around 10:30 Mom said he wanted his b/p check, it was good, pulse good, no irregular heartbeat, O2 was 96. I asked him how he feeling and why he wanted his b/p check, and did he need to go to the ER. He answers no. Settled him in bed again, he seemed OK!

At 11pm she said he was having chest pains, I rechecked his vitals, they seemed good but decided to call 911. He wanted to put his tshirt and pj pants on, so I got him to the side of the bed, switching his O2 from his from BiPAP to nasal, just got the nasal O2 on him when he just fell back on the bed. I thought he was having a seizure of some kind, within a few seconds, I think he was gone.

The 911 operator said to get him on the floor for CPR, but so help I could budge him!!! She said do it on the bed, try to keep it up until they got there. But the bed was too soft and he just bounced I couldn't get a good compression! Just bouncing and Mom hysterical in the background!!!

He was gone! I felt so helpless!!!

I kept on until the first responder got there, I was giving out could hardly speak. He comes in sort of nonchalant just checks his pulse, saying he was gone! A few seconds later the other EMTs got there and it took all three of them to get him off the bed! The words of the 911 operator echoing in my head making me seem a failure because I couldn't get him on the floor when it took three of them to barely do it! They struggled to get him on a stretcher and to the ambulance.

They asked if we wanted to stop CPR at the hospital saying his brain has been without O2 for too long! Pronouncing him on the 30th

No amount of my friends say there's nothing you could've done is helping! I keep seeing his face and eyes and doing the what-ifs in my head! My dreams are of him still alive and my waking time is the dream!
cooperman
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