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Advice needed

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Advice needed

Postby Eliseahorse » Sat Dec 12, 2020 7:55 am

Hi so I don't have anxiety disorder. My anxiety is tied up with did. Snaga can vouch for this ( hi snaga) .
I know SOs arnt normally allowed to post in forum but this is an emergency.

Bf had a breakdown at work yesterday but they didn't offer time off and he has to go back in today. He is so anxious he had to take knockout drugs to get to sleep last night.

His ex is coming round Tommorow to supposedly drop off some possessions of his that she had been holding hostage ( including childhood toy) combine that with his useualy worry about not getting Christmas perfect and being a burden to his parents etc I'm worried another breakdown is on the cards.

I've never been in support role before so I'm hoping you guys could give me some advice. How do I help him through this?
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Re: Advice needed

Postby Snaga » Sat Dec 12, 2020 10:32 pm

*waves* Hey!

Judging by the time stamp, I assume he's already gone back in to work? How did it go?

And..... wow keeping a childhood possession as hostage is about as low as it gets.

Gosh I don't know- when someone with an anxiety issue is on that spike, it's awful hard to mollify us. I mean, OCD forum. Does he see someone about anxiety? Is he on anything to help take the edge off?

I really am not sure what I could say, except remind him Xmas doesn't have to be perfect, and as far as his situation with his parents, I really don't know the backstory, but just remind him that he's human? We all need help from time to time, and worrying about it, isn't going to make it better.

All much easier said than done, do I do what I preach? *laughs and shakes my head* sometimes, if I'm lucky and can find enough strength of will.
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Re: Advice needed

Postby Snaga » Sat Dec 12, 2020 10:33 pm

Unfortunately also, this is a fairly quiet forum.

Does he... obsess and do compulsions, any? Or just worry?
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Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

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Re: Advice needed

Postby Eliseahorse » Sun Dec 13, 2020 11:54 am

Hi snaga
Yeh work went well. Mainly because the colleege that triggers him wasn't there. Which was good because he was able to see that work can be good. We are about to go for a swim then meet ex.
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Re: Advice needed

Postby Snaga » Sun Dec 13, 2020 4:07 pm

Glad to hear that!

Work... drove me here to PF, anxiety in a roundabout way (I was self-harming over something work-related, and found PF on a search engine about self-harm). For me, my last place of work I often found my body in fight-or-flight mode, as I walked down the long entranceway to start a shift. Intense, crippling, and unrelenting. So I definitely empathize.

And, well, sometimes, co workers sure did add to it. A LOT. I've worked with careless partners, I've worked with lazy partners, I've worked with partners hopped up on alcohol and drug cocktails. When you're afraid to take a break, because you literally don't know what absolute insane, you're going to get us FIRED $#%^ you're going to come back to, well... oh yes, I know exactly how it feels to have work sap the life from you, one rapid heartbeat, at a time. I've come home and drank; or self-harmed; or just rode around before going home so I can scream my throat raw. Or just come home, sit in the car, and think of all the nice ways I could off myself. Meh.

Some nights I'd just dissociate to the point of I'm just watching as the body does what was expected of it.

Once my 'others' began to emerge as distinct personalities (Sam was the first) it was.. both scary, because I'd never been aware of another fronting before, and a blessing, because once enough cooperation had been reached, Samantha took over driving to and from work, and I was just along for the ride- my anxiety then, most of the time, anyway, could turn on when I walked into work, and turn off, when I walked out, and stayed at work, and came home with us, a lot less.

I digress- point is, I really empathise with the BF.
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Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.
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