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Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

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Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

Postby HotPepper » Wed Oct 24, 2018 3:45 pm

Anyone has this? When you have sudden fear and anxiety when someone talks to you because you won't understand what they say, what to do if it is something they want you to do? And in the end fear they will shout at you or call you names because you are being "stupid" for not understanding them?

I have this and it drives me crazy? Crashes my quality of life and I don't know what to do.
I don't know what caused me this because several years before I was not like this. I think something in the past connected to criticism of myself caused it. Maybe when I worked my boss expected from me things and didn't explain them to me so he shouted and criticized me if I was not doing something right.

I don't know how to cope with this and if there is a hope for me...
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Re: Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

Postby Snaga » Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:20 am

Is it just in person? Or also other ways, such as phone, even text? This sounds a bit like an avoidant issue to me.... but I see you've done some posting in that forum. Are you anxious when around groups of people in general?
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Re: Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

Postby HotPepper » Thu Oct 25, 2018 7:07 am

@Snaga It can be one person and a group of people. Group of people is worse.

Talking face to face is hard and talking on the phone is hard. Texting is
the easiest for me as if I didn't have the problem.
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Re: Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

Postby EricLarry » Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:21 pm

Hi HotPepper. It sounds to me like your anxiety is connected to the traumatic event/s you described with your previous employer. It’s great that you have already introspected and found part of the problem.

In your conscious mind, you understand that he was a poor people manager. You said that he expected things from you without proper explanation, and when you did the correct thing of asking for clarification; he yelled at you and made you feel useless and inferior. This reflects on his poor management skills, and not in any way on your ability or worth.

The next step will be to convince your subconscious brain of this, i.e., to genuinely recover your self-esteem. *mod edit* is an interesting article I found on the way we talk to ourselves in our minds, and the impact this has on our self-esteem.

Take note of the conversations you have with yourself before a social gathering. Are they positive or negative? Are you reinforcing these anxious thoughts by criticizing yourself even further? If so, make it a habit to speak only kindness and love to yourself (even if you sometimes feel you don’t deserve it). When a negative thought enters your mind, combat it with something like: I am confident, smart and worthy. Only good will come from today’s interactions. As I embrace socializing, I will learn and grow every single day. In time, your brain will start to give you these messages and healthy thoughts automatically.
I hope this helps and all the best with your journey!
Last edited by Snaga on Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: link removed
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Re: Fear and Anxiety When Talking To People

Postby Alexendra » Tue Aug 27, 2019 11:07 am

There can be many reasons to feel anxious to talk to people May be you could be nervous of what they will say or that you will say something wrong. I would say don't be afraid . You have to talk to get to know others and you could even make some new friends. Also do meditation in the morning which will give you inner peace and confidence.
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