Our partner

Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Gender Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Snaga

Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Arik » Mon Sep 13, 2021 10:32 pm

My name's Arik, the masculine form of Ariel. I was born male, always acknowledged that I'm male but wanted to be a girl for several reasons. The first reason is vanity. Girls are prettier than boys, and I wanted to be pretty. The second reason is they're treated differently, have girl stuff, and do girl things.

I had no interest in reassignment surgery because, of my build, I'm 6' 2", an operation wouldn't give me what I wanted. I wanted to be a petite woman like we see with some Asian women. Tiny breasts are the prettiest. I could continue with my idea of a custom body, but I don't think that would be allowed.

I'm not interested in men, not even if I were a woman. I can't see myself as a woman with a woman unless it was limited to mutual touching. However, other than dating a few times, I never had a serious relationship. Therefore, such a discussion would be moot anyhow.

I shattered a gender stereotype, and I felt like I've been set free when I bought dolls from the Disney Store from December 2013 to early 2014. Later, I got Samantha from American Girl.

I'm fifty-two years old. I began to notice a shift four years ago when I looked at male role models such as Minoru from Chobits and the young buck from "note."

https://nsmmm.tumblr.com/page/8

Now I'm not sure which would be best, remain male but go for the cute boy look and find the right girl for me or be a girl and stay single.
Arik
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:18 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Snaga » Wed Sep 15, 2021 6:17 am

I think it comes down to the difference between preferences, and gender dysphoria. I'd like to be a girl. I don't have to be one. My life is less rich; a disappointment; but it's not no life at all- and for those I've known with GID, it's no life at all, short of transitioning.

I think for some people, however, they might be happy either way- I would, if I thought transitioning were a viable option for me. It isn't, but since I don't consider myself properly Trans (because of the lack of life-endangering gender dysphoria), it's... just a bummer, but not the end of everything.

When you say you'd only be interested in being with a woman, with a woman, if there was only touching... is that with bottom surgery? Or unaltered 'down under'? I think functionality would depend a lot on how much hormone replacement therapy you were on- certainly porn stars like Bailey Jay or Daisy Taylor seem to have no problems in that department. Some women might.. not mind being with a girl with something extra. Or is it just the idea of being feminine, with a girl, turns you off, personally?

Arik wrote:I'm fifty-two years old.


Arik wrote:Now I'm not sure which would be best, remain male but go for the cute boy look and find the right girl for me or be a girl and stay single.


Well, without strong gender dysphoria, my idea is folks should tread carefully, when it comes to making the kind of alterations that come with transitioning. I contemplated hormones oh a good 25 or 30 years ago, and sort of set that pipe dream aside because of the lack of debilitating dysphoria. I feel as if a person needs to have a darn good reason, to turn their life upside down. And I didn't have that reason.
Image

Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18231
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 10:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Arik » Wed Sep 15, 2021 1:01 pm

Snaga wrote:When you say you'd only be interested in being with a woman, with a woman, if there was only touching... is that with bottom surgery? Or unaltered 'down under'?

If I understand your question, I want a complete rebuild. I wish I could express how I feel, but to put it in a forum-friendly way, I don't want my male genitalia. I want female genitalia.
Arik
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:18 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Arik » Wed Sep 15, 2021 1:39 pm

Snaga wrote:Or is it just the idea of being feminine, with a girl, turns you off, personally?

Having sex with someone of the same gender is a turnoff. However, as I stated above, I'm okay if two women touch or explore each other but nothing beyond that.
Arik
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:18 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Snaga » Wed Sep 15, 2021 4:30 pm

So full transition, then- bottom surgery isn't something to be taken lightly- I hear it's painful and difficult, and it's my understanding a lot of MtF decide not to do bottom surgery, even if they can afford it.

You're not interested in men, yet would not want to get too sexual with a woman, as a woman... so then, you're trying to decide if the desire to transition, trumps the sexual drive to have a woman as a sexual partner, then? Unless by exploring or touching, you mean manual or oral stimulation... which in that case, to me, sounds like sex. I wonder if you'd still feel that way, post-transition. I mean, it's one thing to not like lesbian porn, but the urge to merge might cause you to think well, it's different now, now it's Me. Just a thought. But if I read you right, it's more the idea of being the idealisation of female, that you're most drawn to, yes? This begins to sound like extreme autogynephila.
Image

Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18231
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 10:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Arik » Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:00 pm

Snaga wrote:But if I read you right, it's more the idea of being the idealisation of female, that you're most drawn to, yes? This begins to sound like extreme autogynephila.

I was not familiar with that term. After reading the brief explanation, that sounds like me.

I would love to be able to look at my body as a female.
Arik
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:18 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Snaga » Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:03 pm

Who wouldn't? I'd want a full length mirror so I could admire myself.

If there's anything I do online that includes 3-D avatars.. I'm not going to be male. That is my catharsis, that's how I deal with it.
Image

Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18231
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 10:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Born Male, Wanted to Be Female

Postby Arik » Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:48 pm

Snaga wrote:Who wouldn't? I'd want a full length mirror so I could admire myself.

When my dad needed physical therapy, a tiny Asian woman with minimum curvature did the house calls. I was with Dad as he did his therapy, hiding my real motivation for being there. The physical therapist had the type of body I wish I had.
Arik
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:18 pm
Local time: Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Gender Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests