Our partner

How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Gender Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Snaga

How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby seaweed » Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:58 pm

Hi, first post on here. I wish to cure my condition the natural way, which is somehow learn to accept the sex that I was born to be, instead of feeling disconnected from my body and wishing I was born a man.

To add background information: I was suffering from gender dysphoria since I was either a child or since I hit early puberty at age 12. I began hating my breasts the very moment I developed them, and I had an extremely boyish personality despite my mother forcing me to dress up in a feminine way and behave more like stereotypical girls do. I was hardcore trans, wanted full on surgery, to change my voice, everything. But after I turned 19, I had a heavy break up from my abusive bf who had very antisocial-like behaviour, and also found out I had a low estrogen levels literally a few days after. To fix my hormones, I went on contraception as a form of medication to fix my hormonal levels, which worked. However, I began to feel some of my aspects of gender dysphoria to fade away, which caused me an identity confusion/crisis. I am not sure if it was caused by my transphobic bf or the hormones, or both even (yes, I was dumped for being trans, which he knew from the start but suddenly he didn't like it). I am almost 21 now, dating a bf that recently pointed out to me that some of the possible reasons I became trans was due to growing up in a very transphobic country that had strict gender roles, where it was taboo if a woman didn't 100% fit in the stereotype of wearing make up daily, possessing long hair and dressing hardcore feminine. And I may have just developed an issue of mixing up gender with the expression of personality. Add the fact that I was bullied at school and grew up with parents who had explosive anger issues and tendencies to be abusive, so the daily stress may have messed with my hormones, also I never got proper sleep. But these are just theories me and my partner have made. No clue what caused me extreme discomfort about my breasts, however.

As I said, I used to be hardcore dysphoric but in the past year I have improved rather a lot. I now accept my voice a bit more, I accept that gender dysphoria is a mental ailment, I strive to one day be comfortable with the sex I was born with and learn to accept my female pronouns. I still get very dysphoric whenever I put a shirt on that shows my massive breasts or if the clothes show my feminine figure. And I abhor being called any feminine words. I still lowkey wish to be seen as a man which causes stress sometimes. How might I overcome this? I moved out to a Scandinavian country not long ago where I can go to therapy, however people here often don't believe that being transgender is a mental illness due to recent trends. If I do find a decent therapist/psychologist, what type of help should I ask from them? As I am sure 99% of trans people going to therapy, at least here, demand help with transitioning, something I know wouldn't make me fully happy either since it would lead to more health issues than I already have and generally, isn't the thing for me. I am tired of becoming depressed due to gender dysphoria and want to get rid of it completely some day.

Thanks in advance to anyone who is willing to help out.
seaweed
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:18 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 8:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Snaga » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:49 pm

If you get this, how are you feeling now?

I think the orthodoxy has become that if someone feels dysphoria, the answer must be transition, but I don't agree with that. I don't disagree with transitioning, but there are people out there that have had second thoughts and changed their minds about it- and I think that should be perfectly acceptable. Sometimes folks find there are underlying reasons to why they felt they needed to change their physical gender. I definitely don't believe in a one-size-fits-all. Or in a single reason why folks would want to change, in the first place.

So are you feeling you are.. something between? That you would feel more comfortable staying in the body you have, now?
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17881
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby seaweed » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:31 pm

I am feeling much better now. I read a lot about BIID and how it has an uncanny, almost identical resemblance to gender dysphoria, just replace amputation to transition. Which is why I began working towards trying to get rid of my gender dysphoria. It turns out not one nor two, but there were a lot of small things that added up that lead to me developing gender dysphoria, both physical and mental issues. If anyone is curious is to what caused it, I'll list anything I'm aware of that aided in me developing this mental ailment.

Honestly, the chances of you becoming even more depressed post transition, going in debt, developing many health complications, etc is very terrifying and I m hoping that someday soon, people will realize that transitioning should be the last resort if tons of therapy doesn't work. It's also very similar to anorexia, and if we don't allow anorexics to continue deteriorate their bodies due to moral reasons, how is it moral to allow gender dysphoric sufferers be enabled?

Anyhow....soon I will start cognitive behaviour therapy and perhaps try another different form of verbal treatment. I chose these as they are often used to treat BIID and body dysmorphic individuals. My gender dysphoria has been slowly reducing, I had to, sadly, cut ties with any transsexuals I was friends with as I have noticed their community always told me very negative things about me and always tried talking me back into transition or judging me very subtly to make me feel bad about what I went through for years. What I've learned very recently, through my therapist, is that you cannot and shouldn't build a community based around on a mental ailment, as it very soon turns toxic and promotes the wrong things.

Due to me changing jobs and often being busy, I won't see my therapist until, perhaps, next month. I am hoping I'll soon be able to cure my condition completely. I'd say I cured 80% of it. Again, if anyone else is going through what I am, or is curious, I'll explained what caused me to become transgender on here. I am likely, however, getting top surgery to reduce my chest, but that's as far as I'll go to modify my body.

I do feel very male-like, yes. But I've come to accept I always have and always will be female, both in body and brain. However, I try to replicate what I admire about men, for example trying to be very emotionally stable and callous, as that's a stereotype men are often known to have, but recently.i found out that even women can have that too and it doesn't make them transgender. I am not sure about my body, I do abhor my chest still enough to consider surgery, and sometimes I dislike other traits of my body, but right now I am working on accepting it....I wonder if that means I went from being transgender to body dysmorphic? I feel perhaps I'm a slightly unique case if so which makes it challenging. I currently only dress in unisex or male clothes, always slightly to very baggy, usually darker clothes. I always get short hair cuts to add to feeling like myself. After accepting my natal sex slowly, and just trying to live with the tomboy label, it has improved my life greatly. Thank you for responding, and also I am sorry for the long response. This is sort of therapeutic and helps me think of what I should tell my therapist next time I see them.
seaweed
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:18 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 8:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Snaga » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:52 pm

No need to apologise- I found it, and you, very interesting! I feel... well sort of like that but in reverse, since I have a pesky Y chromosome- something I often would rather I'd not had, but I have it, and no amount of surgery or HRT will erase the fact I'm XY. In some ways, I'm very much male- and in some ways, very much not. You strive for 'emotionally stable and callous'- let's call that stoicism... I resent having to be that way, and envy girls for being able to be 'weak' and 'emotional'. I feel as if I have to wear a mask over that. Now, I do dress very male- but while you tend to go male/asexual in dress... oh I envy girls. they can wear anything they want. I can't. For one thing, I'd look stupid... but if I were a girl, I'd sure enjoy it.

Out of curiosity- and you don't have to reply- you hadn't mentioned exactly where you fall, sexually- you did mention a b/f but ofc that doesn't mean that's your only interest... I happen to be somewhat Bi, but I find that I am most attracted to, well, Tomboys... and I think part of that is somehow tied into that feminine part of me. That I seek out girls with boyish traits- my (female) partner is something of a tomboy and not your average girl, much less a girly-girl. In a way, I feel as if we balance each other out- I have female traits she doesn't (though she has plenty) and she has male traits I don't (but I have plenty). If that makes any sense. I just wondered if you have noticed anything similar in your attractions.

I think your story- and your conclusions about yourself, are quite interesting... although as you hinted, expect some assertive disagreement with your conclusions. In the rather distant past, I thought I'd like some sort of partial transition. I still sort of long to turn back time and make it so.... even if I weren't the moderator of this forum, I'd be very supportive of anyone wishing to transition, but I agree that it's not something that should be done hastily, and I think the things you've encountered that caused you to sever your transgender connections, are very regrettable- if anyone should be open to ideas, it should be the TG community. We're complex creatures, and not one size fits all. I'm not a relativist by any stretch of the imagination, but I firmly believe there are no wrong or right answers when it comes to gender and one's sense of self, and dislike an 'orthodoxy' of transition, as much as I dislike it when folks try to invalidate transsexuals' desire to transition.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17881
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Soliby » Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:41 am

It's unfortunate that this forum has a slight anti-trans bent. Many things in the way of "I'm not racist, but..."

To the OP, gender dysphoria or being transgender isn't a "mental ailment" and much of your rhetoric is distressing. While it does sound like you'd benefit most from transitioning, you do what you feel is best for you to derive satisfaction in your life. It does seem to me as though you are twisting yourself into knots to be against the idea of being transgender, which doesn't seem mentally healthy. My suggestion would be to address that along with making yourself feel satisfied as you are.
Soliby
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:23 am
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby ducksducksducks » Mon Sep 24, 2018 3:46 pm

what a refreshing concept. "try to accept myself as i am"...sounds like hard, hard work after fighting this war for so long. but in some ways, it sounds emotionally hopeful. even though agreeing to accept who i am sounds harder than fighting.
ducksducksducks
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:51 am
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Snaga » Wed Sep 26, 2018 7:58 pm

I don't wish to get into an argument (except for the strict interpretation of the word, 'to debate'), but I'd like to add a modly note I never got around to posting, and mention this forum doesn't have an anti-trans bent. Or anti-anything: people are not shut out here, because they think differently from whatever passes as the current orthodoxy concerning transgenderism. This is a free marketplace of ideas, as long as I'm mod here. I'll defend to the death, someone who feels they need to transition; as well as someone who feels they most certainly do not wish to for whatever reason they have. We're not all cut from the same cloth and we all have to find what works for us as individuals, not a collective.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17881
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Eliseahorse » Wed Jun 16, 2021 11:32 pm

Here here snaga
Transition is not the be all and end all to Gender dysphoria

Case in point my child is ftm and has started the long journey to transition.
I have gender dysphoria due to a mental health condition. I have not transitioned because the last thing my child needs while he is agonising over his gender is mum turning into dad.
As far as my child is concerned I'm just your average mum. I have been vilified by non-binary groups for putting my child's need for stability ahead of my own transition.

Gender dysphoria does not have to end in transition there are sometimes reasons to avoid a full transition. Yes the op sounds like they are trying themselves in knots but if they have found a therapy that helps them if chest reduction and living as a tomboy is sufficient to aliviate their suffering then they shouldn't be villified for that. Dysmorphia is a condition that requires you to learn to love your self through the meens at your disposal. Maybe the op will be happy with an androgynous body. It sounds like there is a lot of ingrained gender hostility they need to work through.

The trans comunity forgets sometimes that life isn't a binary just because x doesn't want to be female doesn't mean they want to be male. There is a whole world of gender expression to be explored. The smaller strips you take the less likely you'll regret your destination when you finally get there.

Op is right to explore other options given their discomfort.
Body 31
Co-concious system known collectively as Eli
M 30
M24
F10-17
F31
NB19
2 partially integrated alters
Peter (7)
Unknown
User avatar
Eliseahorse
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2020 12:04 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 8:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to Cure Gender Dysphoria w/out Transitioning?

Postby Snaga » Thu Jun 17, 2021 1:49 am

Eliseahorse wrote:I have not transitioned because the last thing my child needs while he is agonising over his gender is mum turning into dad.
As far as my child is concerned I'm just your average mum. I have been vilified by non-binary groups for putting my child's need for stability ahead of my own transition.


That's the kind of thing that really puts a burr up my ass crack, to be blunt. In this upside down clown world, thinking of your kid first, is evil. To me, those folks have to be driven by political ideology- what else could explain such malevolently fanatical insistence that you must adhere and obey, and the kids be damned?

While I greatly appreciate (and do not at all judge them for their actions, rather they have my support and sympathy) that some people have gender dysphoria so bad, that family or not, it's transition or die- perhaps literally- and those people should- a transitioned parent, is better than a dead one- there is no way I could transition, in your shoes. At least not until the kids were on their own. I don't even know about it then- my sense of personal obligation in that regard is pretty high. Anyone who can't respect your sense of obligation to your kid, is... well I'm glad I'm not their kid.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17881
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Wed Aug 04, 2021 3:57 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Gender Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests