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why cant i stop??

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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby Jerry33 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:00 pm

I have gambled for rouglybthe last 8 years and have wanted to stop but just cannot. I always believe that I can control it but once I start I am a different person. My biggest problem has been quick draw a game from new york lotto. I literally have lost thousands. Any advice?
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby uskat » Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:20 pm

Jerry 33
Such a hellish place. Wanting to stop. But not stopping. Evidence that the addiction/compulsion has literally HIJACKED you. It is controlling you.

There is a solution. But just telling a heroin addict to stop doesn't work. you need help from people who understand (fellow gambling/lotto addicts), tools, recovery methods.

This is as serious as drink and drugs. As someone else here said, just when you stop and get into recovery we are often left with worse destruction of financials!!!

Have you looked up GA (gambler's anonymous meetings) in your area?

Online meetings?

You found this board --- but face to face meeting in my area HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH

I guesss lotto can be played anywhere -- but can you put in place "rules" for going to stores/gas stations to prevent the play. Try to reach out to those lotto players--I know we have 2 lottery only players in my meetings who also went thru LARGE amounts of money strickly w/ lotto.

If you are in a state that has a 1800 problem gambler phone line -- that could help--- call them and ask!! google it if you can

Keep posting here.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby riseNfast » Fri Nov 20, 2015 7:07 pm

Jerry33 wrote:I have gambled for rouglybthe last 8 years and have wanted to stop but just cannot. I always believe that I can control it but once I start I am a different person. My biggest problem has been quick draw a game from new york lotto. I literally have lost thousands. Any advice?


Hi Jerry33! The difficult part in quitting is getting that will power to stop. I agree with uskat, that getting external help (e.g., GA) would definitely be critical in your first few weeks of recovery. Be active in this forum, and read some threads here that will improve your awareness about gambling addiction.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby Jerry33 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:14 pm

Thank you both so much. I am currently seeking counseling for it and will look into meetings. I can say that I am really going to give it my all this time. I can't just accept that is has taken over. I believe I am better than that just as you guys are.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby uskat » Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:22 pm

Jerry

the LAST place I wanted to be was in a room full of degenerate gamblers (judging) !!!
admitting that I was one (honesty and humility)

when I really accepted what I done, who I am, what my drug is (the love of the gamble) I was left w/ very few options

it was such a relief to be with people WHO GOT IT

had I revealed to relatives, friends, etc. who don't have this issue, I know they couldn't understand

I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND how I'd gotten here, how could they

no shame, your brain has been struck by this drug of dopamine, serotonin whatever -- it craves it, combined with the thoughts and behaviors that only reinforce the NEEEEED

I hope you find a counselor who gets it -- I don't think many do. I remember about 3 yrs ago when I went to a counselor who I was semi honest about my gambling, I was MORE honest about the debt I had built thru my gambling and told her the way for me to relieve the financial pressure was to sell my home. I told her "but I WON'T use the extra money from home sale for GAMBLING" I meant it, but you know what I did. I blew thru that "extra" money in 2 yrs. I wish she had been alarmed at me having access to that much money and being in addiction. Alas, only when I was really ready -- which was when I had no money, nor access to any.

Hope you can put a plug in the hole before more financial damage is done.

Glad you are seeking answers/solutions/help!

Best to you and keep posting
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby Jerry33 » Sat Nov 21, 2015 3:27 pm

I think it is important to finally come to the realization of how bad you have made things financially and socially. This is where I am right now. I am doing a lot of quiet concentrated thinking and can see clearly how I allowed this disease to control me to the point where I really believed I needed to do it. I am finding this forum very helpful. It is great to see how many of us share the same issue. One thing I always wondered about and somewhat disagree with was the fact that all gambling must stop. In other words, I know playing a lotto game like quick draw is something I cannot control once I start and will lose every dollar I can get my hands on. However, a poker game with friends every month which is just fun or playing fantasy football is not something that has ever been a real issue for me. Do you think everything must stop in order to be successful?
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby wanghuoyan88 » Sat Nov 21, 2015 4:11 pm

I think a night out with friends playing poker, mahjong or any other games for leisure should be harmless. I have friends who play poker with stakes at $1 a round. And it's for fun rather than gambling.

I think most gambling addicts get the thrill from betting high stakes. That is we have to bet big to get that satisfaction we crave for.

I don't see any harm playing poker with friends - my opinion.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby blue_green_lake » Sun Nov 22, 2015 2:56 am

Jerry33 wrote:One thing I always wondered about and somewhat disagree with was the fact that all gambling must stop. In other words, I know playing a lotto game like quick draw is something I cannot control once I start and will lose every dollar I can get my hands on. However, a poker game with friends every month which is just fun or playing fantasy football is not something that has ever been a real issue for me.


This is an issue that is up for debate/consideration among recovering gamblers. In G.A. they say "no bets of any kind."

I think each person has to decide what is best for them. For me, any kind of gambling that involves an actual "wish to win" would be something that I want to refrain from. In other words, casino gambling, lotto prizes, scratch-offs, car raffles, 50/50 raffles, or anything like that, where I would wish to be the victor, is bad for me. I have bought a $1 quilt raffle ticket at the fair, because the lady at the booth asked me and I wanted to be kind. But it did not trigger wishes to go to the casino, & I didn't care if I won or lost that quilt (not something I found attractive).

The poker game you describe is for small bits of $, and it seems to be friendly. But if it makes you get the gambling urge then it might not be a good thing. Fantasy football involves more money, right?

I think that the fewer kinds of gambling a person engages in, the easier it is to disengage from the addiction.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby deskoh » Sun Nov 22, 2015 3:20 am

Well i want to start out by introducing myself as an ex professional poker player. I have about 500k in tournament winnings. and i have a serious gambling addiction. 500k seems alot but it does not mean that they are profits. Apart from this, i had a serious issues with soccer betting as well.

Last night i lost 10k and it really made me realised that i dont want to do this anymore. Its really stupid becaues end of the day, everyone goes broke one day in poker. I just cant believe i stayed in this line for so long. many people think that im saying this only because i just lost 10k and im not quitting for good. lets see how that goes, i need to prove some people wrong.
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Re: why cant i stop??

Postby blue_green_lake » Sun Nov 22, 2015 6:03 am

deskoh wrote:Well i want to start out by introducing myself as an ex professional poker player. I have about 500k in tournament winnings. and i have a serious gambling addiction. 500k seems alot but it does not mean that they are profits. Apart from this, i had a serious issues with soccer betting as well.

Last night i lost 10k and it really made me realised that i dont want to do this anymore. Its really stupid becaues end of the day, everyone goes broke one day in poker. I just cant believe i stayed in this line for so long. many people think that im saying this only because i just lost 10k and im not quitting for good. lets see how that goes, i need to prove some people wrong.


Welcome to the forum, Deskoh!

This forum is a good place to start to get support for quitting gambling. Also, GA is a good place to get support.

Gambling is not a way to wealth. It is more of a way to deplete your wealth instead.

Continuing to gamble is a form of self-destruction. At least that it the conclusion I have come to.

Best wishes on restoring your well being. That is what we all wish for, to restore our mental and physical health.
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