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How to admit and move on???

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How to admit and move on???

Postby 5091bmd » Wed May 18, 2022 1:50 pm

I was on this forum almost three years ago saying that it is the beginning of my new life as I am quitting gambling blah blah blah...

Almost three years later and after spending all my life savings and half of 401k on sportbooks (almost $100K) now I am in a very dark spot in my life..

There is not a single second goes by in my day that I am embarrassed of what I have done and have these anxiety moments that because of my mistakes my family will suffer financially for a very long time.

I have a good job paying well and my wife is works too.

Currently I have $34K credit card debt and the more I think about it the angrier I get and find myself in the same cycle of gambling, winning, losing and drinking heavily just to forget my stupidity for a little while...


How can I admit what alrady happened, accepted the fact that I messed up big time and move on without chasing my losses?

Any advice is much appreciated...
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Re: How to admit and move on???

Postby Aries411 » Wed May 18, 2022 6:37 pm

Welcome back to the forum 5091,

I am sorry to hear that things didn't go as wanted to over the past three years. Despite our strong desire to quit, gambling has such a tight hold on our minds. We find ourselves making up reasons to justify our gambling and soon enough, we are back in it again.

5091bmd wrote:How can I admit what already happened, accepted the fact that I messed up big time and move on without chasing my losses?


1. Admit to ourselves, that's easy since we are constantly dealing with the consequences of those actions. We KNOW we have done it and don't have anyone else to blame. Admit to another.... that's a completely different beast. Many of us would probably take this to the grave if we could. We have done this in secrecy for so long and we are totally ashamed of what we have done. If you can find the courage to tell a close individual, it can be the turning point and they may be able to provide the support you need.
2. I found that many people can't get over the fact of how much they lost and how could they have fallen in such a hole. For me, I always treated this like a disease and under the right conditions, gambling addiction could have happened to anyone. When I was in therapy, I saw a poster saying "Would you have all this regret if you got cancer?". I think no, so why should I have all this regret for developing a gambling addiction.
3. This is what I find the toughest. To not chase. To not try to get back what was lost. I think a very good way to think about it is to treat is as if you lost of money in your investments. Sometimes you lose a lot of money when your investments go down, but you don't try to 'chase' it. You simply accept and continue to work.
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Re: How to admit and move on???

Postby Badideas » Thu May 19, 2022 6:35 am

I was in this place for almost a year it is very very difficult!!

There is lots of services out there to help and lots of people that have been where we are. Go fund me I s great but if you are asking for money make sure your 100% done. Growing up my mom was a drug addict and it killed me when she asked for money because I knew what my hard earned money was going too.

Losses will always affect us and its what drives us to the ground.... I can't wait to get out of the hole I'm in I'm working 2 jobs and trying my hardest to make it up to my family.


Just think what the money could of helped others do... I can't wait to get out of the hole and start helping others first I have to focus on not loosing everything also.

My addiction was stocks so it was as easy as deleting my account and not being able to access it. Every day a fidget still but I know I'll never go back after this feeling....
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Re: How to admit and move on???

Postby 5091bmd » Fri May 20, 2022 7:51 pm

Thank you both for your replies...

Although I have the extreme urge of placing bets for the last three days I have not... It just makes me extremely frustrated and upset with myself whenever I think about the amount of money I wasted however now I am coming to understand (and trying to convince myself) that money is gone and the best thing to do is staying away from gambling..
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