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No More

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No More

Postby cleanslate » Fri Jul 03, 2020 4:34 am

My story
13 years of gambling, significant money loss, attempts to stop, relapses, sleepless nights, anxieties, guilty feeling, tears, rage, helplessness, self hate, lies.

Last relapse was today and now i am going to stop. No justification is good enough to flush money down the drain and put myself through this each time. I am kinda tired of trying to satisfy the urges as the end result is the same. No amount won is enough, only leave when broke, and if won go back and loose all and more. Same cycle repeats every year.

Last few years i have reduced my gambling to may be 6 times a year but not once that i end UP at the end of the year.

I am exhausted mentally and dont want to do this anymore, so i will stop.

Inspired by some but sorry for a lot of others who go through the same situation. One thing i would say though that each and every one of the people affected by gambling can get through it and get back their life financially and in other ways, with help and restrain. I am in a great overall position, but dont want to inflict self destruction and undue stress upon myself anymore from gambling.

I am going to quit cold turkey, i hope this one stays but this feels different, i have no more desire as i am exhausted from it. I know it might feel like i am making it sound very simple, but i am going stop.
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Re: No More

Postby Aries411 » Fri Jul 03, 2020 10:00 pm

Welcome to the forum,

Your words show wisdom and it looks like you've been in this endless cycle for quite awhile.

cleanslate wrote:I am exhausted mentally and dont want to do this anymore


I think most people here can relate to this. The mental stress that we go through is probably the biggest issue we face. Once we begin a gamble free stretch, we first notice the relief from all the lies and thoughts that kept going on in our heads when we were in the cycle of gambling.

I hope you succeed in your lifelong journey against this addiction and we will be here to support you. We are all going through this together.
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