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Thoughts on our paying

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Thoughts on our paying

Postby betterchange » Mon Apr 06, 2020 5:12 pm

With a bit of time on my hands recently, I've been pondering quite a few things.
One of those has been my debts, and my paying them, pretty much all 'gambling debts' of course.

I do think this is also important as a gambling related topic by the way, as the way we consider money can certainly impact potential disaster with gambling drastically as response.

I wondered what do people think about their approach to left-over gambling debt. Do you feel you should sacrifice all you can in life, to pay them off? Or, would you be opposite, take lots of time and therefore try to keep payments low(ish) but take longer to pay them off?

I've been more towards the latter option, must admit - I still want things around me and a decent life, but it means my debts have been much slower to reduce. A LOT slower.

Just pondering how others approach this. Either way, it's a great feeling to see debts reducing however we pay them each month/year....
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Re: Thoughts on our paying

Postby Aries411 » Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:04 pm

Good question.

I learn towards extending my payments and trying to not let it affect my life as much as possible. I have considered buckling down and trying to get rid of it over a few years, but I don't think its worth that stress.
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Re: Thoughts on our paying

Postby betterchange » Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:49 am

Thanks for your reply Aries, sounds like you have similar approach to myself.

I once read (when first treating my debt situation) some online authority on the matter saying along the lines that: once you've got yourself into debt you have lost all right to nice things in life, luxury, treats etc....I couldn't live like that, if I have the choice!

The trade-off though is that years after starting all my debt management and payoffs I still have a very large lump of debt - it could have been much smaller by now I know. :roll:

I'm guessing this kind of money in mind decision is something many of us have to weigh up. My big regret about taking a long view is that it affects my life much longer. But equally, I can't live the other way very easily! I feel more anxious leaving myself less in store basically, and that's never a good thing in my monetary thinking I'm pretty sure!
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Re: Thoughts on our paying

Postby NewSunRising » Tue Apr 07, 2020 10:59 am

I went the opposite way . I threw every cent I could get my hands on to my debts . In a way , it almost became a compulsion that replaced the gambling one . I was already broke when I quit . I had been living on a shoestring for years while I was gambling . It was simply a matter of continuing the same lifestyle for another couple of years .

For me , it was a worthwhile sacrifice . I believe that keeping myself near-broke for 2 years gave my recovery a strong and solid foundation . Not to mention , making that final payment and knowing that I didn't owe anything to anybody was a high that made the gambling buzz pale in comparison .

During my addiction , I had a very warped relationship with money . I hoarded it to gamble with , obsessively calculated how much I had left , how much was coming in , how much was needed for the bare minimum of living expenses . For a long time after I quit , I was afraid of having any significant sum of money available to me . It took quite a while for things to return to normal .
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Re: Thoughts on our paying

Postby betterchange » Tue Apr 07, 2020 11:20 am

Thanks for your story NSR. It's a very good comparison!

I can totally understand your way, and why you chose that way - even though I haven't chosen to be like that myself. I'd love to rid myself of the massive debt weight. So, I totally get that desire to be rid of it very soon.
Unfortunately, it's probably similar weakness that caused me to gamble that stops me actually doing it - I can't resist having money and using it on other things than my debt. In addition, if I piled as much as I could into the debt, I'd feel a little vulnerable financially - if my work/income dropped (it has at times in the past) I'd feel like I was in great danger financially - so I like having a buffer.

I don't think there's a correct answer should say, just that it's interesting how we all deal with this in our lives. I should add, despite being somewhat spendthrift in this issue, I haven't used credit for about 8 years on anything at all - that is something I would never go back to deliberately ever again.
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Re: Thoughts on our paying

Postby NewSunRising » Wed Apr 08, 2020 2:46 am

I agree with you BC , there is no right or wrong way to go about it . What worked for me could very well backfire on someone else , much the way a highly restrictive diet can cause some people to end up binging out of frustration .

In hindsight , there were a few aspects of my process that I think could have become unhealthy , like developing a fear of spending money or not of ever having " enough " . I did have to self-regulate and work my way out of a few episode of obsessing about my finances both present and future .

It took me quite some time to achieve the balance that your method employs . The important part is that we've stopped digging the hole - how we proceed to fill it in is an individual choice . :D
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