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Moving Forward...so Mad at Myself....

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Moving Forward...so Mad at Myself....

Postby LamarB » Sat Nov 02, 2019 9:27 pm

Hi all,

I finally put myself on the self-exclusion list for online gambling, and I think I am ready to move forward

I've been saving for a down payment for a house for several years now. I had worked my way up to $60-65k, getting closer to what I needed for a down payment. Then I found my way to the online casinos.... For the past 3-4 months I have been hypnotized by online blackjack with live dealer, and it's been my demise. I have probably lost 10-12k of my hard earned money over these 3-4 months. A couple days ago after depositing $500, through a very lucky streak, I worked up to 5k. I was elated and at an all time high. I found myself thinking "this is so easy, why doesn't everyone just make money this way, who needs work lol?"

Anyway, I then put in a withdraw request for $4000, planning to keep $1000 to "play" with. Needless to say I lost the $1000, and of course, I chased my losses. The online casino makes it very easy to reverse the withdraw request, and drags their feet with withdraws likely for the very reason that I reversed the withdraw of 4k in my pursuit of simply getting the 1k back, and I lost it all. Reckless $500 bets. Of course every hand I seemed to be getting 14/15/16 against dealer's 9/10/A, and even when the dealer had a 5 or 6, she magically made a better hand than me. It just feels so bad......

Moral of the story: NEVER AGAIN. I just put mysellf down for 5 years self exclusion. That's a total of 10-12k I'll never get back, which is like 1/6-1/7th of my yearly salary. But the casinos aren't getting another dime.

I feel so stupid, but now that I finally put my name on the list, I think I am ready to move forward. Luckily I still have close to $50k left saved so I could have lost more chasing it, and feel like I would've have if I hadn't self excluded.
Last edited by NewSunRising on Tue Nov 05, 2019 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Moving Forward...so Mad at Myself....

Postby Aries411 » Sat Nov 02, 2019 10:04 pm

Welcome to the forum LamarB,

Online casinos are the worse! I feel that they have the ability to choose whatever outcome they wish. Of course they don't want people to always lose or else no one would play. They just want people to win enough so that they think its possible to make quite a bit of money and then they give us a run of back luck. Self exclusion is a great step to fighting this illness. Please read through the strategies thread to get some amazing ideas to fight this addiction.

Keep on posting! :D
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Re: Moving Forward...so Mad at Myself....

Postby lookforward » Tue Jan 07, 2020 8:29 am

Hello LamarB,

I can so relate to your story. I also had a huge inclination for online casinos with live Blackjack dealers.
I trully agree with you when you wirte about the withdrawals. Deposits are instantaneous...but withdrawals...well they keep you hanging and eventually you cancel them and loose it all.

I am glad that you self excluded. Keep that way. Don't beat yourself over those 10-12k. particurlarly because you managed to maintain most of your savings. you are a true hero for that. I would like to be like you and to be able to say that I stopped before it was too late.

I wish you all the best and a GF life!
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