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Feeling at Rockbottom

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Feeling at Rockbottom

Postby rosemarie209 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:08 pm

Just feeling like I've hit rock bottom and have no idea what to do. Have been gambling for 18 years, only realised how long when I registered with GamCare, most likely as an escape from work pressure, sense of non achievement, loneliness, boredom, unwillingness to face up to things which generated negative emotions. Anyway, because I was in a well paying job this was able to continue for so many years without me having to face the consequences (apart from the debt, lack of social life, broken relationship, no holidays etc :)). I have now been made redundant and found myself with debt of £30k, an expensive mortgage which I can not afford to keep up, work in my industry has dried up and I cant seem to find a job (post 50), a run-down house which will be hard to sell (no money spent on upkeep due to gambling). I have no idea what to do - I cant pay the debt off and am incurring high interest costs but need money to live on and pay the mortgage as long as I can. With my brain in a fog I failed to fix my mortgage and am now on a hugely expensive variable rate but can't refinance without a job. I can't afford to fix my house up and so am going to have to sell as is in a poor market. Even then it is likely to take a long time to sell and I don't know how I'll get through paying the mortgage through the sale period. I am not from the UK and need to go home - I don't feel able to afford to take my two cats with me at a cost of around £5k which leaves me feeling horribly guilty after I have wasted so much money over the years - I could possibly even have done it if I had acted straight away after the redundancy but didn't - depression, fog, anxiety, false hope etc. Now I am just feeling sick, unable to get myself moving as I freeze whenever I start to tackle anything and have panic attacks. Have no family or friends to turn to here and have been unable to get therapy support through NHS. I have never felt more sad and lonely than I do right now. Sorry for the rant. Hope this serves as another message to people to not gamble - the only thing that has come out of this mess is that I will never ever gamble again.
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Re: Feeling at Rockbottom

Postby NewSunRising » Fri Nov 30, 2018 1:08 pm

Welcome Rosemarie209 ,

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this . Gentle hugs , if you would like some . I don't know what you can do about the house , unless filing for bankruptcy is an option for you . Please find out if GamCare can point you in the direction of some free financial services .

I just want you to know that you're not alone . I was in a very similar situation 4 years ago . I also thought there was no way out . Quitting gambling didn't make make everything better , but it 100% stopped making everything worse . It took me a long time to get back on my feet financially but little by little , with every gamble-free day , I regained stability and sanity .

I know it sounds impossible now but believe me , you will get through this . It may be the worst time of your life but it will pass and you will recover from it . I know it's hard for you to leave your cats but is it possible that you could find a kind of foster home for them until you can send for them ? If you have a social media account , it may be worth putting it out there and seeing if anyone will help .

I experienced the same panic and anxiety when I faced my debts . It led to me just avoiding it all until it was almost too late . I eventually addressed my issues one at a time , starting with the easiest one first .

You can do this . It will be hard but you have the strength within you to fight your way out of it . If you can find work , for any amount of money , you may be able to negotiate with your creditors .

You are a good person . This is an addiction , not just poor choices or some kind of personal failing . None of would have gone down this path if we had known what awaited us . Be strong , take a deep breath and do what you have to to start rebuilding , one step at a time .

Please post any time you need support or encouragement. We'll be here for you .
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