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Back again...

Postby pharmgal89 » Tue May 15, 2018 10:08 pm

I have not been here for a long time. I had decided I would just live a life where I would play slots every weekend. Well, how ridiculous it has become to lose HARD earned money and for what? I read a lot of posts on here the last couple of days. I can especially relate to the lies we tell ourselves. I am done. I will be here more often and out of the casino. I want it this time. Before I did not want to stop. I wanted to want to stop. Now I am excited that I get paid this Friday and I will have money to do things for the house instead of making my weekly donation to the casino. I have already made plans with friends to stay busy. I am looking forward to the support and hope to support others.
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Re: Back again...

Postby NewSunRising » Wed May 16, 2018 12:32 am

Welcome back Pharmgal89 !

I'm glad you've decided to come back to the forum . Gambling addiction has a way of providing all kinds of "reasons" why we don't really need to / want to / have to quit .

All of them are lies . One of my wake-up calls was when I realized that I was spending thousands of dollars trying to win hundreds of dollars . :roll: How in the world does that make any kind of sense ? I think that was the day when I came to understand that money had little to do with why I gambled .

If you have a GA group near you , I highly recommend joining them . You can post here any time for support and encouragement too . We're rooting for you !
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Re: Back again...

Postby pharmgal89 » Wed May 16, 2018 9:14 pm

Thank you NSR :D

Yep, spending lots of money to win a little, if anything, and then gamble it the next time. I know it had nothing to do with money. I played slots for hours and hours to "escape". I know there are less expensive things to do to keep busy and much better environments for me.
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Re: Back again...

Postby NewSunRising » Thu May 17, 2018 1:10 am

Yeah , escape was my reason too . Of course , all the problems and issues I was trying to escape from were waiting for me outside the casino door , and now I was broke on top of it . :roll:

Make sure you have a good plan in place for when the urges / withdrawals kick in . I found it really helpful to have a list of stuff I could do when the urges were really bad . I think that was what helped me the most in my early days of recovery . In my first few attempts , my mind was so swamped and overwhelmed by gambling urges that I literally couldn't think of anything else .

I would pick one thing from the list and make myself do it . Usually it was something short and doable in 10-30 minutes : Walk around the block 5 times , clean out a closet , read one chapter of a book , call up a friend and chat , prepare some food for dinner or the next day's lunches , etc .

I can honestly say - I didn't enjoy doing any of those things one bit . All I wanted to do was gamble . But forcing myself to do something else , no matter how unappealing it seemed , served its purpose . After a few weeks of GF time , enjoyment started to creep back in . Those little lists were a life-saver for me . They gave me answers to the question of " What can I do instead of gambling when all I can think about is gambling ? " .
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Re: Back again...

Postby Gabone25 » Thu May 17, 2018 5:38 am

Yeah, all said here are true and beside this you MUST understand how destruct full gambling is. It is like a road with always same END - destroying your life. Everybody can take this road because it is attractive, maybe beautiful, it is like a DEMON who first shows you like a beautiful child (not capable to harm you, to gain your trust) and later his ugly real face with catastrophically consequences more often than not.
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Re: Back again...

Postby blue_green_lake » Thu May 17, 2018 6:24 pm

Gabone25 wrote:It is like a DEMON who first shows you like a beautiful child (not capable to harm you, to gain your trust) and later his ugly real face with catastrophically consequences more often than not.

This description is wonderful and so true! I love the analogy. Gambling seemed harmless at first, and everyone I know who did it seemed to love it. Though, I didn't know many who did it, only a good friend, and my father. At first I was happy to pick up a few extra bucks doing this weekend "hobby," but after awhile, the casino monster showed me its truly voracious nature. To gamble there, I was destined to be indebted, not to gain. But I was already hooked. Then I was on the "chase," to get back what I had lost. After trying and trying, I knew that it was a futile effort. Folks, don't feel ashamed to say "uncle" to a system that is structured to rob you. Leave it behind, and move on to better things in life, most of which are free. Don't give more energy to that casino monster.
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Re: Back again...

Postby pharmgal89 » Sun May 20, 2018 10:23 am

I spent time yesterday with a friend in the morning and another friend all afternoon. It was nice to actually be there with them and not think, oh geez, I just want to get back to the casino. I am glad I have plans today too. Slowly I hope to get back to my old life.
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Re: Back again...

Postby rainbowcolor » Sun May 20, 2018 5:28 pm

Hi pharmgal89,
You are doing great, time spend with non-gambling friends is one of the many activities that will help you to stay away from the casinos and make your relationships stronger and it don’t cost as much, a win win situation.

When my husband and I quit gambling, we invite people to our place for dinners or lunches at least twice a month, something that I kept putting off because gambling just suck up all my energy. Did not know that I am such a good cook too. (national disgrace) :shock:
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Re: Back again...

Postby pharmgal89 » Tue May 22, 2018 10:26 am

Thank you. I agree I too may find things I am good at, who knows?

It is so true that in the beginning gambling seemed so harmless and then it progressed. I scratch my head wondering how money seemed to have no value once I walked into a casino, yet in the grocery store I would compare prices down to the penny. It really is a dangerous place.
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