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My story and my road to recovery

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My story and my road to recovery

Postby newlife123 » Sun Dec 17, 2017 6:54 pm

Hi guys,

ive been here many times in the past. Many of you have helped me huge and ive been able to stop gambling close to about a year the last time.

Ive relapsed a few times over the past couple of years. losing over 10 to 15K. i have debt of over 30K.

i recently got married and purchased a home. we have a huge mortgage to pay (houses are not cheap where i live). i told my self i wouldnt gamble last week. Then 2 days later had a few drinks and had the urge to gamble and lost quite a bit.

i am at 1 full day of no gambling. i am committed to being Gamble free this time. I am going to set up a plan on staying gamble free then set up a plan on reducing debt. Ive given all my finances to my wife. This way i know i will have 0 money with me.

The biggest problem that i have is because my bookie works off a credit system. We dont have to pay till the next week. This sometimes causes me to gamble even when i dont have any cash. Its a simple phone call or text.

My first commitment is a 7 day Plan.
- Check in everyday in this thread and update for the next 7 days.
- No more Gambling

Thanks for everyone in this group who are supporting others!!!

1 Day GF.
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby 58gambling » Sun Dec 17, 2017 10:50 pm

Newlife123: Congratulations on being newly married and buying a new home.
You have made big commitments for your future and I hope you realize how really important it is
to quit gambling; because it is the one thing that can ruin these commitments you've made.
Good that you have your wife aware and controlling your money too, but..........
you need to also tell her about your association with the bookie, and you need to cut your ties there.
If you don't, then you are just kidding yourself about quitting. Having a bookie who lets you gamble on credit is the ruination of many people I have known. This is far more dangerous than just taking your own money to the casino. Believe me, I have seen how people bet on credit, lose, then double their bets to make up their losses, which is how they fall into the trap and into ruination. If you are serious about quitting and giving your future a real chance for happiness, you will heed my warning about this.
Obviously you will do what you want in the end, but as I have said before, "a word to the wise is sufficient."
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby NewSunRising » Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:54 am

Adding my congratulations !

I agree completely with 58gambling about cutting your ties with the bookie . You have experienced being gamble-free nearly a year and you know what you have to do to . Now you have even better reasons to remain in recovery and not fall for the lie that you can bet even a little , or once in a while .

Coming up on my 3rd year of recovery and my addiction still tries to feed me that BS . I try to put it in perspective . This thing does not want to die . I've locked it in a box in my mind and it has lost its power to compel me to feed it . But it will always keep trying to get out and retake control .

Every gambling thought I get reminds me that it's still alive and still trying to lure me back into gambling Hell with lies and false promises . I have accepted that this is the way it will always be . My addiction has changed my brain , the same way a food allergy would change my body's reaction to consuming it .

It's a con job that I can see right through now and so can you .
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby newlife123 » Mon Dec 18, 2017 7:25 pm

Hello 58 & NSR

Thank you for the great advise. I got goosebumps as i was reading what you guys said. 58, i want to thank you for being honest and cutting the BS. ive read many posts by you and you seem to give the honest truth. Thanks for that.

NSR, thanks for always encouraging us and providing options for us to do better. Your guidance should help all of us get better. Love this forum and will continue to post!!

i wanted to reply to these comments immediately in the morning and say, the bookie is a close friend and i cant cut the ties with him. Although this is true, what i did today was, i sent him a text asking him to close my account completely and never take a bet that i give out. Although he agreed, we knew there is a chance of me msging him and asking him to take a bet (this happened numerous times in the past). this time i also sent him a message stating, if i ask for a bet and he takes it, i will no longer be responsible for the payment. At that point he understood im a little more serious this time. He also added, the only way he will take a bet for me, if i pay him the funds in advance. now the challenge is upon me, ive set small road blocks. now i need to conquer and stick to my words. i am confident i will to do this. please let me know if this has worked for others or if should completely cut ties with this person

Now i want to tell you how my day went yesterday. was very upset at the losses and the usual, what i could have done if i had the money..etc,etc.

But i left that behind and did some work that was long overdue from work. Then made a quick meal at home for myself and the wife. It actually felt good to cook your own meal. i was planning on going to a restaurant for Dinner, but my wife said, we have a lot coming up, lets cook and plan for a night out rather than just go out to eat because we are lazy.

2 Days GF.

Thanks for all the support and Good luck all!!
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby 58gambling » Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:35 pm

newlife123: We as gamblers are experts at making excuses for ourselves to continue gambling.
First you say that the bookie is a close friend and you can't cut ties with him.
I am glad to see that you have taken further steps to try to prevent yourself from making bets with him.

But toward the end, you ask if you should "completely cut ties with this person."
If you ask me, the answer is OBVIOUSLY YES. If you continue to maintain ties and communicate with this person, it is just more temptation that you don't need. I have said enough about this. It's really up to you what you're going to do, but you need to be honest with yourself instead of giving yourself reasons or excuses why you can't do this or do that.
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby NewSunRising » Tue Dec 19, 2017 4:09 am

You are making good , positive steps NewLife . It will eventually become apparent if they are enough to stop you from gambling . If you discover that they are not , then you will know where the weaknesses are .

Should you cut ties with your bookie friend ? Well , if this person really IS your friend , why would he want to see you keep feeding an addiction that is destroying you ? Have you told him that you are addicted to gambling ? Does he know that you have to fight to stop yourself from betting ?

In other words , does he realize just how serious of a problem you have ? Because if you haven't made that clear , he isn't going to take you seriously . I routinely tell my friends I'd like to cut back on eating junk food . That has never stopped them from offering to share their bag of potato chips . Which I usually take .

If I were to tell them that even one potato chip could kill me , you can believe it would be a different story . And if I made that statement to them and someone STILL offered me the chips , I would not consider this person a friend of any kind .
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby newlife123 » Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:31 pm

Thank you 58 & NSR.

i havent told my friend im an addict but ive told him before i need to stop. either way i have made a decision to cut my ties with him unless we see each other at functions. i need to stop blaming others for my mistakes and i need to do better for my self.

yesterday was another good day for me. Paid for my car sticker and realized i had a parking ticket to pay. i got annoyed and was thinking i need to gamble to get out of this debt. i didnt, paid my bills and walked away. not very happy but it is what it is. also when i was gambling i procrastinated on everything. the past few days that i stopped. i tried to get things done the same day instead of leaving it for later.

So i downloaded an app for working out and worked out a little bit. i looked like a fool when my wife taped it and showed it to me. Made me laugh. Havent laughed like that in a while. im also in the process of downloading the app everydollar and setting op a budget. i need to come to realization that i cant pay all my debt tomorrow. it will take time and planing. i will plan accordingly and set small goals.

thanks again for all the support.

3 days GF. looking forward for 7. its not too far from here:)...24 hours at a time
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby NewSunRising » Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:32 am

I was well into recovery before I could talk about the extent of my addiction with friends . I did come clean to one person in the beginning and that helped me tremendously in regards to feeling that I was now being held accountable for my actions . Interesting that I would constantly let myself down , yet I could not bring myself to let down this person .

Taking back control means making changes - especially since the addiction dictated so many of the choices in our lives before . Making healthy , positive choices is empowering and with it comes the knowledge that we don't have to cave in to a compulsion . We have the strength to say NO .

You are doing brilliantly !
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby RicardoG » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:47 am

newlife123 wrote:The biggest problem that i have is because my bookie works off a credit system. We dont have to pay till the next week. This sometimes causes me to gamble even when i dont have any cash. Its a simple phone call or text.


It is an interesting sharing. Congrats and all the best in your new life, newlife123.

You need to address the biggest problem because someday it will come back to haunt you.

I would like to share this experience which I had with a friend (he is no longer my friend, I have removed him from my phone list). He introduced me to football/soccer betting, I got hooked to it, and it caused a big destruction in my life. He also acted as my bookie, someone whom I could play credit with. Long story short, he screwed my life. I had been foolish myself, and kept on being in touch with him over the year.

My advice: Cut all links with those who gambles, or are the intermediaries of it. You are better off without this kind of contacts.
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Re: My story and my road to recovery

Postby newlife123 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:03 pm

I think you guys all make a great point. I do see myself talking about sports bets/spreads/player props etc.. when i hang out with these guys. Thats not what i want to do. i will cut them off and i think i will be better off.

as to how my day went, it was pretty good. it was a really busy day at work and i was super tired when i got home. im still getting random dreams about my finances and how scared i am. i am in a financial $#%^ hole. i think i can make it work though.

im cutting my self with any money and living poor. but thats ok, i need to make sacrifices now to have a better future. ive realized ive never bought a single thing when i gamble. i just lie and tell my self im going to, but at the end, i just use the winnings to gamble more. its a never ending cycle.

i am starting to feel a little better with my life. i have a tough time when i think about finances but i will get through this. i will come out strong!!

4 days GF now!!
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