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I spent all my savings and more ! Help

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I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby Idiotonaroulette » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:01 pm

Hi im new here after searching for gambling help forums after recent losses. It all started earlier this year with time to kill at work i started using online roulette, i won maybe £15000 + in a couple of weeks i couldnt lose or so it seemed, everytime i deposit a few hundred i came off with thousands. Sometimes i would lose and sometimes it would be a few thousand but id up my stakes and always get it back. One night i lost all my winnings. It hurt but it was winnings so it wasnt so bad i told myself. Now iv spent my £12000 savings that was to deposit a second home at the end of the year, and maxxed 2 credit cards trying to chase it back. Im at my worse when iv had a drink im relentless but can still blow thousands level headed. My credit rating is still excellent and i have a decent paid job and now seem to be in a vicious circle of getting back on my feet, getting a few thousand back in the bank then blowing it all again. Iv gone from having a nice savings account and never really been without money since staring work 12 years ago to having nothing. Currently 2000 in my overdraft and owe 2 credit cards the limit. Its killing me but i keep finding myself back on the ######6 thing. I had to come clean to my girlfriend and tell her what a dick id been. Cancelled my bank card and gave her the new one so i couldnt register anymore gambling sites, im still finding ways to deposit using paypal. Will this ever end? After reading through posts on here it has helped a little i havent gambled since my last 1500 loss last weekend but it scares me to think this addiction will be back to haunt me if not sooner then later in life.
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby 58gambling » Thu Jul 13, 2017 5:08 pm

Well, if you can admit you have a gambling problem or addiction, you should go to GA and get help and support. There you will find others like yourself who will understand and offer support. This thing is too tough to beat by yourself. You also have to make up your mind to really quit. We all have said we're going to quit right after we've lost lots of money, but the thought becomes temporary, as you have experienced yourself. Deep inside yourself, there's got to be something to make you resolved and determined to quit forever. You can't lie to yourself.
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby NewSunRising » Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:47 am

Welcome IOR ,

Will it ever end ? Maybe not , but having an urge to do something doesn't mean we have to act on it . An urge can be managed , it can be controlled . It can be denied .

I am 2.5 years into recovery and I still get gambling urges from time to time , but they are so weak and ineffectual that they are more like "ghost memories" from the days when the compulsion to gamble ruled my life . I don't care anymore that they come on now and then , because I control my urge to gamble . It does not control me .

I have also learned to recognize why I'm getting the urge - it's usually when I'm stressed out or faced with a situation that I want to avoid . Gambling was an escape from unpleasant things for me , a place to hide . Figuring out the "why" of your urges is a powerful weapon against them .

You have put up some good roadblocks , but you've left some doors open . Close down your Paypal account , find a GA meeting and tell your GF that you are struggling with this . You need to make a plan for dealing with the urges , because they aren't going to go away overnight ( or even soon ). They are going to keep trying to lure you back , almost certainly by assaulting you constantly and making you miserable until you give in to stop the screaming in your head .

Feed them and they will grow . Starve them and they will die .

It's a battle , but it's one you can win .
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby Idiotonaroulette » Fri Jul 14, 2017 11:21 am

Hi, thanks for the replys. I hope this is the end, since joining this forum i have never been so sure that i have have done with this evil addiction. Reading other peoples similar problems and how they have overcome them and have nice things to show from it has helped me. I think the reason behind me continually making deposits at work while im bored is i just want my money back and in my couple of weeks i was on the winning streak how easy i could win it all back. I just have to accept that its gone now and im not going to get it back by gambling. The nature of my job sometimes has me waiting about for a few hours and this is when i think il just deposit £200 and no more. We all know how this ends. Its been 5 days since i last gambled and i have had the urges, its payday today and i woke up with an urge, instead of gambling i came here. This is my last attempt of not gambling by myself if i do find myself back at it i will seek a GA meeting but this is the last resort for me. I CAN AND I WILL BEAT THIS!! I have deleted my paypal account and have already started making plans for the future and set myself goals. I will get my second home but it will just take a little longer than origionally planned. Im still young and have a life to live and i dont want it to involve gambling and the horrible gut 'loser' feeling. I will keep you posted on any relapses on how im doing but hopefully the next time i post here will be telling you all how good iv done for myself.
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby Idiotonaroulette » Tue Jul 25, 2017 5:53 pm

So here i am again! After 2 weeks gamble free i was feeling good and positive and had a busy weekend scheduled. I have a friends birthday thursday and saturday was off to a festival. I get back from the birthday thursday and i was quite drunk, i stayed up all night gambling :( i finally go to sleep friday morning with 3000 in my account from my 1300 wage i got paid that day. I should have walked away with the win and put it down as a bad experience. But no the evil inside beat me, after going out early saturday i cut the festival short by leaving my friends and going home early knowing full well i had 3000 in my account to reverse and i was going to try and win more. I lost it and another 2000 out of my overdraft. Im now nearly 5000 in my overdraft, i just dug my hole alot deeper after 2 weeks of being happy and positive! I cant tell my girlfriend im afraid how she mite take it, if i carry on like this i will end up with nothing. Scared i will lose my house and my girlfriend. I know stopping drinking would solve this as now the thought of gamling when im straight hasnt bothered me at all for the last 2 weeks even though i have been getting the urges, but i cant quit drinking forever and kill my social life because of this. Im thinking maybe to give the blockers a try what you can download on your phone, has anyone used these or know of any good free ones? (If there is any) any help would be much appreciated. I know people are going to say attend a GA meeting but i really dont want my girlfriend or my work collegues to find out this mistake.
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby Aries411 » Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:10 pm

Idiotonaroulette wrote: i really dont want my girlfriend or my work collegues to find out this mistake.


I don't think anyone wants their loved ones to know of this addiction, but this addiction thrives in secrecy. With no one else knowing, we only deal with ourselves and its pretty easy for us to convince ourselves that its OK to gamble. Accountability is what we need, whether it is with strangers, friends or family. Trying to beat this with determination won't happen unless we hit rock bottom (although rock bottom is different for everyone). If you can rationalize that your social life important than your your financial future and closest relationships, you aren't giving this addiction the respect it deserves and it can become much worse than it is now. Please start looking at what is really important in your life.
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby NewSunRising » Wed Jul 26, 2017 1:13 am

Please realize that this is much more than a "mistake" . You have a gambling addiction and that means there is a compulsion to gamble . You are doing it even though you don't want to .

By leaving yourself access to gambling sites online , you are basically inviting the addiction to continue to exercise its control over you any time you are bored , stressed or intoxicated . It is going to use every lie , trick and persuasion it can because money is food and it must be fed in order to stay alive .

An internet search for gambling site blockers will bring up plenty of options . I have never used them but my addiction is not online gambling .

I can tell you this : After two and a half years of recovery , my addiction still rears its ugly head when I am stressed or bored . It's still trying to come back and take over again . The difference is that I see the lies clearly - the ones that say " You're OK now " and " You can control it this time ".

Or the best one of all : " Nobody has to know ..." .

Well , guess what ? I gambled every day for 7 years , completely wiped out my finances and racked up 30K worth of debt . And nobody knew . It is the idiocy of that particular attempt at persuasion that makes me understand that my addiction will go to any lengths to be fed again .

Aries411 wrote: If you can rationalize that your social life important than your financial future and closest relationships, you aren't giving this addiction the respect it deserves


This is spot on , although I myself would change the word "respect" to "fear" .
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby lookforward » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:38 pm

Hi

The minute i read your post, I immediately signed in. You have described many of my days. Many of my internal fights, and also my disappointments. When I read it I thought, there are so many more like me.

I found myself in a very similar situation. We both could be living nice comfortable lives, instead we screwed up things, and we are in a position we're we are very ashamed of what we have done.

I have also a huge problem just like you do. We once approached our GF for understanding. I believe that your, like mine, didn't liked it but we're supportive. And the we relapsed. And now we don't know how they will react.
Unfortunately, i think that i understand you really well. I'm also not inclined to share this with her.
I'll be chased probably by saying it, but my gf is really important to me, and I don't want to see that look of disapproval on her again.
For now, I'll try to work it out, with the support of the members of this forum. One day I'll probably tell her. But I just want say it, when I'm ready, to say, that i no longer gamble, or that i control my urges to play.
I should have a nice saving, after several years working abroad with a nice salary. I don't.
My next paycheck is to settle my Credit cards.
Today I say I'll stop gambling. Today is my first day. This time is for real!

Hope that you keep a positive thinking and that you can find some comfort here.
Regards
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby housealwayswins » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:08 am

###$ yeah I have to say It sucks. But that's gambling. It ruins and always will ruin everything positive. You can have 5 years or 20 years being happy but once you gamble all that can and will get taken away. You have to not gamble to stay on the positive path. Gambling brought you, or you led you on the negative path by gambling.

Gambling is the problem and you have a problem with it man.

Realise gambling is a problem, the problem, and you have a problem with it. Just because you win doesn't mean the problem isn't there. It masks it in your mind because you're winning but that doesn't last. No one just wins 200k and walks away.

Unfortunately but hopefully fortunately for you I hope you realise this sooner rather than later.

You felt good for not gambling for two weeks. You said it. You did it. You felt it. You can do it again. Just don't gamble and you will feel good. Don't get bored. Have things to do because when you're bored not getting enough stimulation, you are prone to getting messed up.

And yes drinking and being tired can ruin you too. You must conquer these things, before they conquer you.

Welcome to what millions of people go through man. It's not just you. There's no curse or hard luck although it feels like it. You're only human, you're not bad. Gambling makes you feel negative emotions and thoughts.

Piss it off brother. You deserve a great life. Go back to living your great life and being happy. I am, so to can you.

best of luck and may god give you countless blessings 8)
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Re: I spent all my savings and more ! Help

Postby Idiotonaroulette » Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:41 pm

lookforward wrote:Hi

The minute i read your post, I immediately signed in. You have described many of my days. Many of my internal fights, and also my disappointments. When I read it I thought, there are so many more like me.

I found myself in a very similar situation. We both could be living nice comfortable lives, instead we screwed up things, and we are in a position we're we are very ashamed of what we have done.

I have also a huge problem just like you do. We once approached our GF for understanding. I believe that your, like mine, didn't liked it but we're supportive. And the we relapsed. And now we don't know how they will react.
Unfortunately, i think that i understand you really well. I'm also not inclined to share this with her.
I'll be chased probably by saying it, but my gf is really important to me, and I don't want to see that look of disapproval on her again.
For now, I'll try to work it out, with the support of the members of this forum. One day I'll probably tell her. But I just want say it, when I'm ready, to say, that i no longer gamble, or that i control my urges to play.
I should have a nice saving, after several years working abroad with a nice salary. I don't.
My next paycheck is to settle my Credit cards.
Today I say I'll stop gambling. Today is my first day. This time is for real!

Hope that you keep a positive thinking and that you can find some comfort here.
Regards



Hope your doing well look forward, im not so good. After not gambling for how ever many weeks, today is the day i get out of my overdraft. Today is the day my last court fine is payed off for an old driving offence, the only thing i needed my bank card for to pay it every week. Soooo... i have this idea after work, pay the court fine have a little gamble try and win some money then call the bank and cancel my debit card so il never be able to gamble again. Didnt quite work out that way!! :@ i went straight on the roulette didnt even pay my fine and maxxed my 2 accounts overdraft of 6500 :( im absolutely devastated. Im gunna have to tell my girlfriend she isnt gunna be too happy. I really dont know what im going to do i cant even pay my bills .
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