Hi all. New to the forum.

I'm so ready to make a change in my life and my mind. I am with no doubts in my mind a food addict. I remember being 8 or 9 and asking my mom for a chicken sandwich at McDonalds after I finished my entire happy meal. I've dreamed of that moment. I've thought about it over and over. It's the moment I believe, started a downward spiral. I remember being 16 and walking to the deli and getting a giant meL of 5 pieces of fried chicken and 10 potato wedges, a jar of pickles And a half gallon of chocolate milk.i grew to love that feeling of fullness. I could t stop once I started. To this day I still tell myself all day that I'm going to do good and eat well. Some meals I do. Today for instance I woke up early and made oatmeal and put fresh Blueberries in it. All day I told myself how good I was going to do, but at lunch I sorta left my body and drove to mcdonalds and ate a whole value meal and two McDoubles. This scene has played out a million times in the last 20 years. I hate it. I tell myself I don't want it and I honestly don't! I'm talking myself out of it, even while I'm eating. I realized a year or two ago that I lied to myself everyday. I've been so full before that I've had to call out of work. I'm a glutton. I eat like a demon. I never have leftovers. I have eaten whole boxes of hamburger helper and still ate more. It feels like a curse. I'm 32 and if I wasn't naturally hardy and a little athletic and still young, I would be crippled. My weight won't come down no matter how much I work out because I eat and eat and eat. I am reAdy to change. I'm ready to be healthy. I'm ready to live for the first time in my adult life. I want confidence, I want normal, I need to be better or I'll die and I'm not sure why that isn't enough motivation!

Welcome Steven52 ,

I am sorry that you are struggling with this . Do you have support in your life ?

The constant urge to do something that we know is harming us is a difficult thing to battle . I found that making a plan of alternative things to do when the compulsion struck helped me greatly .

Getting compulsive behavior under control is a process . Be patient with yourself and acknowledge your successes . I found that asking myself why I was experiencing the urges helped to identify the situations where the craving for the addictive substance ( gambling , in my case ) was triggered .

In my case , stress and boredom were my two biggest triggers . I started to make lists of things I could do to distract myself when the urges hit , and put those distractions into action . In the beginning , it worked one out of five times .

I made myself celebrate that one success instead of focusing on my four failures . Within a month , the ratio began to change . It was the start of regaining control .

I wish you well - you can do this !