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How do I tell my mom I binge eat?

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How do I tell my mom I binge eat?

Postby Jcravens » Wed Dec 31, 2014 2:28 am

I'm 16 years old & I'm a female.

I tell my mom everything. She's my best friend. We tell each other absolutely everything. I'm just not sure how to tell her about this.
There's a huge back story to this, but I think it's mostly due to stress.
One year I lost 6 people who were very close to me within 5 months. I don't talk to one of my brothers anymore because he uses/makes crystal meth (he doesn't live with us anymore). My aunt can go to prison for 10+ years because of meth charges she has, my parents fight a lot, money is a big problem, my therapist doesn't help, my grandma is dying, my dad is dying, & it's making a huge impact on me.
I was vegetarian for over a year, but my binge eating has gotten so out of control that I started eating meat again. (I became vegetarian for personal reasons, not health problems.)
I spent 15 minute typing the whole story earlier, but it didn't save.
I attempted suicide in February, I've dealt with self-harm for about two years, I've suffered with depression even longer.
I was always a bit overweight throughout my life, but it's never been to this point. When I was on my vegetarian diet I was very happy and confident in myself, but a lot of family problems started going on and my school work was getting ridiculous. I would spend 3-4 hours after school working on school work & I would give my all in every class, but I would still just barely pass them. (I'm in 10th grade.)
But recently my binging is beyond out of control and I've gotten to the point that I started eating meat again. The last thing I ever wanted to do is start eating meat again. One night it was so out of control I didn't even realize I was eating meat. My body soon got use to it and that's when I started gaining a lot of my weight back.

I started going on late night drives to McDoanlds, only a mile away, & I started hiding food in my room & car. I would eat secretly & constantly eat when everyone was sleeping.
I would eat an entire cheese pizza at least 3 times a week. I would drink over 2 liters of coke a day. I would eat multiple ham & cheese sandwiches throughout the day & still snack in between. One night I ordered five double cheeseburgers from mcdonalds & hid them in my room. I baked & ate an entire cheese pizza in one sitting, ate two bowls of ramen noodles, ate a ham & cheese sandwich, & drank a gallon of sweet tea. After that I went & ate two of the five cheeseburgers then threw up because I was so full, then continued to eat the rest of the burgers, & made a grilled cheese sandwich and drank 32oz of coke.
My food addiction is out of control. I feel disgusting and hate myself after binging, but I continue to do it and I don't know why.
I current go to therapy for severe depression and anxiety. I'm on Lexapro for my depression now, and it does help my mood a bit, but my therapist doesn't really help me. All she says is "Oh, tell me more. Okay. I see. When would you like to schedule your next appointment?" We don't really have a conversation, she just seems to pretend to act interested.
My dad frequently makes comments on my weight like "Damn, you're getting fat!" "I can't find the TV remote. Did you eat it?" & things like that. I understand I'm overweight, but his comments still really hurt.
I tend to wear over sized, baggy clothes to hide my body. I'm so tired of it. I know I need help and I really want to tell my mom, I just don't know how.
How do I bring it up? What do I say? How do I tell her I binge to the point that I hate myself?
My mom & I can talk about anything from drugs & sex to depression & suicide. (I've only ever smoked pot, which I haven't in a year, & I'm not sexually active.)

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read & reply. Thank you so much.
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Re: How do I tell my mom I binge eat?

Postby passingthrough » Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:07 am

i just wanted to let you know i don't know exactly how you can tell her. if it were me, i would write her a heart felt letter that is loving toward yourself and her.

I wanted to let you know that i feel for you. i struggle with this myself. it is so painful to gain weight from it particularly.
I eat so much i get sick.
i am slowly gaining more weight.

my parents knew of my binge eating but just told me to replace what i ate immediately. that was hard to maintain and do, particularly without a car.

i would like to think that we just really like food, but when it comes down to it harming us, it's different.

i hope and pray you can find peace and recovery.

-- Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:15 am --

i would also like to say i feel for you in your dad's comments about your weight. my family was very critical of me my whole life, whether over or underweight as i go from one extreme to another and have off and on my whole life. it has really hurt my body.
i also have several diagnosis and have stuggled with finding a good therapist. i have shopped around.
i understand you must feel very alone. i understanding hating yourself. you are not alone in that.
i binged in the last two days on a lot of fattening foods and foods that i'm allergic and intolerant to and am very sick.
I have gone to the extremes you are in binging. i appreciate your honesty.
i am older now though and its taken a toll on my body and i have to binge on a limited amount of types of foods, because my body rejects everything else, due to the abuse over the years, as well as medication side effects.
I too have struggled with finding good meds.

I hope this day finds you feeling better.

you can pm me if you'd like.
my username will be changing soon however. but i will identify myself to you when it does change.
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