So, is this a fetish?

[ First of all, sorry for my english. It's actually my third language. I hope this is understandable. ]

So, I have severe ocd. I have obsessed about all kinds of sexual thoughts, namely the fear that I am a pedophile, or that I enjoy rape, incest, underage girls... everything.
Nothing turned out to be true.
Now, I worry I might like bestiality. Not as a "real" fetish, seeing as I would never want to act that in real life, but as a "fantasy", I guess.
I'm 17, female, and I admit I have seeked out bestiality stories in the past, just once or twice. But almost never as a first choice. I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. (I thought it was an harmless fantasy...)
But this, I know for sure: I was never attracted to the animal in those stories. I almost didn't even notice the animal. I only liked them because of the vulgar language and I only looked at the women.
The animal was just a "sex toy". I never ever even thought of having sex with an animal! It feels so disgusting even now.
I mostly read about horses because of the sizes of their genitals, and about dogs because I liked the humping, I guess? But I like those things in normal porn, too.

Now, I checked with a story about a woman and a dog. It was kind of arousing, because of the "taboo" and the sex being "wild"... but when I thought about the dog, I couldn't go on.
I got disgusted. I didn't want to go on.
I just really like animals. I couldn't think about them that way. I don't want to.

I really don't want to seek out those stories again. Even if they were kind of arousing I can't get over the fact that there was a dog involved. I'm so scared I might actually start liking having fantasies about dogs... I'm scared I might be in denial, too.

So, what do you guys think? Is this a fetish, a fantasy or something else? How can I get rid of this? I sure as hell don't want this, it's disgusting and i feel so guilty and i'm sure i don't actually like animals.

btw, feel free to move this to the ocd forums if it seems more appropriate... i don't even know anymore.

If it arouses you, it's a fetish. Don't be too hard on yourself about this. Everybody is aroused by things they wouldn't admit in public, even if they don't realize it. I realize too much and know I'm aroused by young girls about 9-15 years old and murder, rape, all of that. And not just OCD, but it really arouses me. I'm kind of sick but I just have to live with my predilections.

Edit: I would add you should look into what is legal in regard to bestiality where you live. And learn about ethics. Don't harm people or animals, don't promote harm of people and animals... but thankfully where I live pretty much all kinds of fictional pornography are ethical and protected by freedom of speech where I live.

TLDR: heed the law for your own good, respect dogs, and respect yourself.

tiggy wrote:If it arouses you, it's a fetish. Don't be too hard on yourself about this. Everybody is aroused by things they wouldn't admit in public, even if they don't realize it. I realize too much and know I'm aroused by young girls about 9-15 years old and murder, rape, all of that. And not just OCD, but it really arouses me. I'm kind of sick but I just have to live with my predilections.

Edit: I would add you should look into what is legal in regard to bestiality where you live. And learn about ethics. Don't harm people or animals, don't promote harm of people and animals... but thankfully where I live pretty much all kinds of fictional pornography are ethical and protected by freedom of speech where I live.

TLDR: heed the law for your own good, respect dogs, and respect yourself.

Wait, what? I think you got the wrong idea. I'm not aroused by dogs at ALL!! The reason why I have OCD about this is because I know I'm not attracted to dogs. I love animals and the thought of doing something with an animal just disgusts me to the core.
You said that I shouldn't harm or promote harm to dogs, but that really, really is the last thing I want to do.
I only liked the stories because of the language, the vulgarity etc. Also because of the "wild" aspect of it. I should also mention that I'm kind of a porn addict, and this "kink" I have might also be the product of escalation, since I really, consciously don't have any kind of attraction to dogs, but I guess I can see the "wild" and "animalistic" part of the act and that's what arouses me. If it was an amorphous thing doing what's depicted in the stories I'd still be aroused. I tested.

So, do you still think this is a fetish...? And if it is, how do I make it go away?? Thinking about dogs is the least arousing thing in the world. I just want to get rid of this guilt.

It's unclear to me whether it's a fetish. That simply depends whether it arouses you. But what is clear is that you've not done anything bad to feel guilty about. Looking at porn is harmless, save perhaps to your self. You can be a good person and fap to dog porn. I like to think that I'm a good person even though I fap to fictional kiddie porn. I really do care about kids. I don't wish ill on them at all. I would hug them all day and buy them ice cream if I could. But that's practically illegal today. I think I'm going to go cry on my pillow now.

Nothing you've described sounds like a fetish. Some of it sounds like a fantasy. Being turned on by stories is fantasy. Wanting or trying to take it into reality is a fetish. [I'm over simplifying, perhaps too much.]

So, there's two ways to go, perhaps. One is to say that you're a mature adult who is quite capable of having a very hot fantasy. Which is never ever acted on. And just accept that everyone finds things hot that other people are turned off by. The other would be to say that this is another turn of the OCD screw. And to steer away from any bestiality fiction / thoughts at all. The guilt will probably just move onto something else. Because OCD is crappy like that. But you're making that decision outside the anxiety as far as possible.