Hi, I have been having intrusive thoughts about a Youtube video. If you look at my other threads you will see that the situation is complicated by the fact that I have an autopsy fetish for autopsies on women.
Sadly it appears that someone from India (a country notorious for very sick practices against females) has uploaded a video of an autopsy on a young girl, aged maybe 10. They have really crossed the line but Youtube doesn't seem to care. I have seen the thumbnail of this video and that is shocking enough, her abdomen is slit open. For the last couple of days my intrusive thoughts have been bombarding me, partially flashbacks of the thumbnail picture of the video and partially imagination of what happens to the girl's body in the video.
I have seen an autopsy conducted by the same man on a woman and to say he is rough with her corpse would be an understatement. Sometimes I have flashes of how he would have treated this child's dead body.
Needless to say, autopsies on women are something I am turned on by and the fear of being turned on by a girl's autopsy is very real. It is too close to what I am turned on by and that worries me. I have been having "checking" events and passively monitoring them throughout the last couple of days for groinal responses. As usual, these prove ambiguous at best. Even when I go to bed I am thinking about this poor girl's gruesome fate and the fact that these uncaring monsters videoed it as well. I just feel like I am in my very own psychological horror movie.
It was actually one of the things I always feared but I thought would never happen, coming across autopsy footage of a child. It is like my worst nightmare realised.
I have been aware of the video since the start of the year. This latest incident has been as a result of searching for autopsy videos on Youtube of adult female autopsies but this video came up in the related videos sidebar.
When I have previously came across the video, I have always avoided it and managed to quell my OCD latching onto it but for some reason it has hit me hard this time round. Just the thought that this young girl got butchered in real life even without the video is too much for my mind to take.
I know how messed up this sounds and it really is a story for the modern age, on a commercial website like Youtube you never expect this kind of thing, it is not as thought I have been lurking around on the deep web. I really think I have taken first place for the most obscure and far fetched messed up OCD situation people must have come across on here. Sorry about this but I feel I must write all this down.