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Dating someone with BPD

Forum for significant others, family and friends of people with mental illness to discuss relevant issues they face.
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This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Whilst it can be healthy to express various emotions, please remember to be respectful about the disorder itself. This is a place for constructive discussions, not a venting forum.

The issues experienced by the significant others of those with disorders cannot always be discussed in the other parts of the site in a way that does not trigger those with disorders. Moderators may therefore move threads from other forums into this one at their discretion.

Dating someone with BPD

Postby TSP » Mon Nov 22, 2021 6:49 am

Hi. I recently started dating a woman (36) with borderline. From what I've picked up, she started self mutilation (it's bad) at the age of 14 and has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals until she was 34. She stopped self-harming and she's doing a lot better, or so she says. We've been on a date some time ago, it went pretty fine, but at the end of the date we got into a "deep" conversation, she clearly stated she wasn't looking for a relationship at this moment, but that could change in a month or so (her head was buzzing from studying IT and taking driving lessons, and she needed time and space for herself at the moment). She told me she'd very much would like to keep me close in her life. (could be a form of manipulation, or not), and with watery eyes, she told me she even has doubts about being an A-sexual and A-romantic person. Before we both went our own way, she presses her body against mine, did it twice actually, and hugged me really tight, after the hug I could see a big smile and twinkeling in her eyes. She told me she likes it when I send her "loving" texts and such, but now she's totally off the grid, she reads the texts but there's no reply. We agreed to go on another date during our former date, but yeah. I have no clue what's happening. she might be self harming again, manipulating, or it could all be just plain truth and she's just going through a tough time in her head. It's the combination of all the things she said that makes me doubt. But yeah, I don't suffer from BDP, so I have no clue. Thoughts and advice are welcome!
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Nov 22, 2021 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: moved to significant others forum; no edits
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