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NPD Cheated

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NPD Cheated

Postby radirgy7 » Sat Feb 20, 2021 1:21 am

She was distant for a few weeks, so I knew something "not good" was happening. She quit her job because she claimed she no longer liked her field and it seemed too much like a coincidence that, without needing to be over here to sleep an hour more before leaving for work, that she got distant right afterwards.

We were together without any breaks/break-ups for around 2 years before she met a guy at her previous job and broke up to be with him for 2-4w that I know of. Roughly 3-5w later, and supposedly A LOT of fighting later, she returned to me and we were relatively happy for another year. We have so many great photos and memories together. She still keeps all of our photos up when her previous ex's have been removed from her Facebook completey. I mean, dozens if not hundreds of photos that I am sure would upset a new guy or any future other guys, seeing her smiling with me!

Recently, her mother and father have had a lot of marriage problems and, after the husband left 8 hours or so away to the USA, that seemed to cause her mother to serve her father divorce papers.

I last saw her on the 7th of February. Lately, instead of staying over from Friday or Saturday to Monday morning, she would only come by for 4-6 hours and then go home with her mother. We would kiss and cuddle but no sex whatsoever. It was obviously suspicious. She dropped off Christmas gifts two-months late and was acting very strangely. I asked her whether she was OK and she said that she has bad news and doesn't want to lie to me.

So she tells me that she has been video-chatting guys behind my back (twice) and went on her first date within our relationship the previous night, where her date kissed her (and God knows what else!). I told her I would never have done that to her (i.e. gone on dates while we were exclusive). We enjoyed the rest of our day together as if nothing was wrong. I was in a FOG of sorts until Tuesday when I decided I absolutely MUST dump her (which I think she was hoping I would do anyways).

I have heard that narcs remember those who were kindest to them. I always did my best and reminded her (and she agreed) that I showed her a lot of unconditional love. She even noted this outloud 1-2 weeks before I called our relationship off.

She only responded via text that she never meant to hurt me (??) and that she hopes I find the right person for me. We were still talking up until Tuesday the 9th, where I think I messaged her first with a news link or called her and she wanted to video-chat with me. She told me how she wasn't going to date that guy she kissed (truth or lie?) but when I asked her whether she would continue to use her account, she ignored my question. She told me her future plans and seemingly had already disconnected from "us" with lots of "I" statements. Her plans were to get another job eventually and move out into an apartment with her 3 cats (highly unlikely and she has less than $20 000 in her name AFAIK).

She put me on ignore the next day or by the weekend and I guess I was painted black. She sent me a video of a women explaining how being dumped before Valentine's Day helped her find her 'one' yet it was just an advertisement selling 'relationship secrets'!

I believe she has found someone new because she has already started dating likely 2-3w earlier. I stopped messaging her after the video 'breadcrumb' because I should have gone 'no contact'.

Last time she reached out after maybe 2-5 weeks of silence. I wasn't really keeping track although she must have started to paint me somewhat 'white' 2 weeks after dumping me because she seemed OK with me making out with her during a movie on a pseudo-'date' when she was with my replacement (AFAIK). Then she returned maybe 3 weeks later, although I do not remember anymore?

Is it true all narcs eventually return although the time they return gets longer and longer with each discard? She is not a muscular girl so it is kind of scary to see her going out dating during a pandemic and putting herself in potentially dangerous situations.

Thank you in advance for any help.


To be honest, this relationship got to be draining the last two or three months because her mom was telling her that I was not 'good enough' and she seemed to believe it. I soldiered on through it because she had become distant before and then returned, ready to continue the relationship. It also feels like the whole family is suffering with bad luck or even splintering from within. There was even talk about selling the family home.

I guess the tensions are higher since Christmas because her brother couldn't work for weeks, she seemed to hate spending so much time around her mother, especially now without a job and no set plan to go to either college/university at almost 26.

Do NPDs almost always return?

I feel like she started to become distant around April 2020 and the devaluation and put-downs become more and more apparent. The last time I saw her, you could feel the disrespect oozing off from her and how I was almost fully painted black at that point.

Honestly, it seems like her 2020 started a slippery slope and 2021 it seems to be getting even worse.

P.S. Maybe I could write a more positive reply if I wasn't writing this after an 18-hour day of work.
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