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distant girlfriend

Forum for significant others, family and friends of people with mental illness to discuss relevant issues they face.

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This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Whilst it can be healthy to express various emotions, please remember to be respectful about the disorder itself. This is a place for constructive discussions, not a venting forum.

The issues experienced by the significant others of those with disorders cannot always be discussed in the other parts of the site in a way that does not trigger those with disorders. Moderators may therefore move threads from other forums into this one at their discretion.

distant girlfriend

Postby youngman223 » Wed Dec 30, 2020 12:59 pm

hi everyone first post, basically i have been with a girl for around 6 months now i know its only short but we connect really well and usually have had the best time together, well until one month ago we had our first argument it wasnt over anything major and during the argument i went to walk out and she said if you leave dont speak to me again, anyway we sorted the argument and she was sorry i was sorry and said how much she loved me, but then over night she suddenly became distant never wanting to see me never wanting to say anything nice or show any willingness to speak about what was wrong all i got was "every time you mention my mood it makes it worse" this eventually passed and when it did things went back to being good again and she actually spoke about what had happened and apologised and explained shes aware of how shes acting she just cant change it at the time

but then we had another argument which was actually my fault and some nasty names where said etc, and this time i had to grovel, but since then she never wants to text never phones when where with each other its okay but things that wouldnt usually annoy her make her snap very quickly if i ask any questions about why shes distant again she gets annoyed and immediatly says she doesnt want this anymore, then eventually she will tell me she loves me
the difference is this time i keep explaining how its different gone from seeing each other a few times a week to spending maybe 3 hours in total together in 4 weeks and her response is that shes busy... she is exactly as busy as she was 4 weeks ago she used to finish work and ask if she could pop over for an hour or even just stop in by on her way to see friends etc, in the last 4 weeks she has cancelled every time she was meant to stop over for various reasons and any talk about planning to spend a night together again results in her telling me shes busy and she doesnt know. iv said do you not think your being different with me and she says she still feels the same just shes busy but its not true and i dont understand what to do. its starting to become that i feel im on eggshells as my emotional needs arent being met at all i dont want to repeat myself but when were together there is nice moments but its so different to how it was its exactly like after the first argument but much worse
and if i mention how its making me feel she just says "okay" if i text anything with any emotion like that i miss her etc she either ignores it or puts "okay"

i know she snapped out of it last time after spending some time together but she wont make time to spend with me and i dont know what to do
Last edited by Snaga on Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Moved from BPD to SOFF, with shadow link in Relationships-no edits
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