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My relationship with my brother is.toxic

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My relationship with my brother is.toxic

Postby Norxis » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:15 pm

I really hope someone can help me. Or atleast give me some advise.
This is the first time I am posting. Please bear with me.

My mom suffered from depression and commited suicide when I was only 9. My brother at the time was only 2. We were raised by my father. He never married again. My father did not do a good job of raising us and we ended up moving a lot and living with different people a lot. Never had any stability. My father also drank a lot and I ended up taking care of my brother from a young age.
This meant emotionally, financially and physically I was more like a father to him than a.brother. i always felt sorry for him and tried my best to give him a better life and always felt very responsible for him.
This carried on for many years. I am now 33 married with 2 kids, wife, good job and stable life. Everything in my life would seem perfect. I worked extremely hard to make a success of my life and not to let my past influence my future. My brother on the other hand always kept on blaming my dad and our upbringing for all his bad decisions and he went in a whole other direction. Hung out with the wrong people. Started doing drugs and getting into trouble. And i was always there to.pick up the pieces and help him and bail him.out. he then started getting psychotic episodes from drugs which lead to him being hospitilized for drug induced psychosis on 3 occassions the past 4 years. He was also diagnosed with bipolar. So the past 5 years were hell. He was in and out of hospital. Every time he recovers he starts usong drugs again and within couple of months he has another psychotic episode. The sad part is that i love him so much that i constantly feel guilty of the depression he is going through and the difficult life he has had. I forget that he is 27 already does not have a job or any income does not take responsibility for himself and his life. Every time he makes bad choices he blames me or my dad.for not giving him a better life. And he just uses our kindness and gives nothing back. My das has now been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer snd only has a few months left. He has no money or life policies. My brother still stays with him. He has no income. Currently i am paying for their rent and food. I just dont know what is going to happen with him after my father passes. I feel so angry at him for not looking after himself but also feel so sad and guilty when he has his depressive episodes and there is absolutely nothing i can do to make things better for him. Or take his pain away. And this has caused tremendous pain and agony for me in the past few years.nothing i do makes it better. Im so scared he commits suicide as he has tried in the past. I dont know what to do anymore. Hope someone can give me advise. I need to go see a psychologist as i think i might also have some issues to deal with
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Re: My relationship with my brother is.toxic

Postby thegentlepath » Sat Jul 04, 2020 2:35 pm

Hi Norxis, I’d advise attending Nar-Anon, for friends & family of drug addicts. Getting counseling for yourself is also an excellent idea. Good luck.
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