Our partner

He's destroying me

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He's destroying me

Postby htn1231 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 3:55 pm

I have no clue where to begin, but I do know I need some support. I know the answers, I think I'm just having a hard time putting them into action.

I've been married for 23 years. In the time my husband has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and ADHD. I also believe he is codependent and a pathological liar. He is currently off medication and not seeking any help or therapy. He says he can't do it without me. I give him the names and numbers of places to call, but he won't. He says I'm not helping him.

All that said, he has not worked in probably 5 years. He is completely financially dependent on me. He does not work in part due to his mental illnesses as well as physical ailments, but I can't be certain how much he is exaggerating.

Yesterday, we was caught for the second time in a year engaging in an emotional affair another woman via text, internet, phone, etc... He says he did it because I won't help him and I've cut him off. I don't show him love. He says it's about the fantasy and someone wanting him. He didn't realize our 19 year old daughter was home yesterday when he called his friend and was crying and sobbing that she is all that he has and now he has a tumor and is going to die. He has no tumor and he is not dying. (The last relationship he was in was with a 20 year old who he told he was 25, yet is really 50.)

I know on every level this is all wrong and he needs help, but he will not take any steps towards getting that help. He says he can't do it without me, but I say I'm doing so much for him already he needs to take steps for himself.

I want him to leave. This is not healthy for me. BUT he literally has no where to go. He has no real friends, his family is 8 hours away and he refuses to go there, he has no money.

What do I do? How do I help him without destroying myself?
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Re: He's destroying me

Postby Zoicite23 » Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:38 pm

I think you gotta boot him. The only chance of him changing is after you boot him he might shape up and come back. But that would only happen after you boot him, and even then he'd probably revert to his ways. He's using you to mooch off and that's pretty obvious. I doubt that man has a soul.
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