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Narcissist wife

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Narcissist wife

Postby Nubnub » Wed Oct 16, 2019 6:02 am

Good morning, this is my first post after reading this forum and many others. I'm looking for advice and help firstly to establish what is going on.
My wife of 3 years has the traits of a narcissist and I've only just learnt of this by reading about it and the many helpful pages available.
To sum up her, always right, there is no other reason and everything is black and white. There is little compromise, it's all about how good she looks, the lack of empathy and generally everything I've read about. And yes when I met her things were great, she loved me dearly and bombarded me with gifts and things were great. She suffers with anxiety and depression too and this itself is tough to deal with.
Without harping on am I assuming this is her narcissitic ways and if so please how to I handle this. For 3 years of marriage I thought it was her anxiety and depression but now I feel I'm at a loss with little or no way of talking to her or discussing it as I can't get anywhere with her and its all turned around about me and not her.
I'm sure this has been asked before but I just need advise please.
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Re: Narcissist wife

Postby xdude » Thu Oct 17, 2019 12:48 pm

Hey Nubnub,

Yes, this has been asked many times before here, from people whose spouse exhibit similar traits. The conclusion most seem to come to is that it really is not possible to change someone with such narcissistic thinking. The only person you can change is yourself, and if you do so, she probably won't like that either. There is a real risk of her leaving if you do change. That's also a kind of manipulative threat, maybe not explicitly said, but often implied, you have to put up with who she is as.

Here is a hypothetical question someone asked me -

"If nothing changes, she won't change and you won't change your reactions/actions toward her, how are you going to feel in 5 more years? 10 more years? A lifetime of the same?"
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