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Was my bestfriend right to do this?

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Was my bestfriend right to do this?

Postby Benjay18 » Mon Sep 30, 2019 12:13 am

I’ve had a bestfriend since we were 5 (we’re 21 now). Went to school and college together.
Over the years we’ve had a few arguments but nothing serious.
Lately we had a big one and I’d appreciate your POV.

Me and my long term GF of 2 years had broken up a couple of months ago.
Him and my ex never met but they did speak a few times on call, most convos about me. She had involved him in our relationship previously by asking him for help. Anyway I had asked him to help patch things up, he said he tried really hard but couldn’t.
IAnyway almost a year later and I started talking again, a lot on the phone but we weren’t ready to meet. She said “we can’t be in the same room together.” (What did that mean?) and it seemed she wasn’t ready so I didn’t push it. But I was always there for her when she needed me on call and vice versa.
However we had an argument and she decided to block me again. By saying we were bad for each other and no one wants us together (mentioning my friends, I think referring to him)
Later, my bestfriend told me he had spoken to her regarding me a couple of times. He said she was adamant on not fixing things. I asked him if he was hiding something from me.

He admitted that during a call with my ex, she told him “I’m considering to meet Ben (me) and get closure for him and I, but wait don’t tell him yet because I’m not sure.”
I was really angry as to why he kept it for so long and decided to tell me when everything was 100% over and we had no going back. In his defense he said “I could’ve lied and told you she doesn’t care about you and doesn’t think of you.” Anyway, not to be dramatic but recently I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I felt vulnerable. I’ve had complications before but it had changed my behavior(made me more impulsive, easily angered etc) but not dangerous.
I loved her a lot and I’ve done her a lot of good and she as well, but we’ve also had fights where I’d do things I couldn’t control (to calm myself with drinking which she hated)
This was one of the reasons we broke up and also because other people got involved and messed things up by manipulating her.

So i asked my bestfriend if he can call my ex and explain to her the situation in hopes that she would understand why I had done these things and we’d meet. I didn’t want to come off as a harasser or she’d think I’m trying to play her. Because she had said things that I’m not the man she used to love, and that I change and act different at times and that we are both bad for each otherx and I had no way of reaching her. She was like family to me. And we knew everything about the other. He made fun in a way, “oh will she heal your tumor? Sorry mate I won’t talk to her again. “ And even made jokes to another mutual friend who said I’m using my sickness as a manipulation to get her back. When they used to bad mouth her a lot in the past and egg me on to leave her.
I got angry and stood up for myself and decided to cut them off. In the past few months all I got was disrespect, and neglect from them. They would make petty jokes and say yeah we’ll talk later when *other mate comes back to town over coffee. When I asked him why he lied, he covered himself by saying you’re mad because I don’t want to speak to her for you. Don’t obligate me to. I don’t agree with you both getting back and even if she did it won’t be real.”


Am I being dramatic? Are they right?
Benjay18
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