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Father and Mother relationship

Forum for significant others, family and friends of people with mental illness to discuss relevant issues they face.

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This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Whilst it can be healthy to express various emotions, please remember to be respectful about the disorder itself. This is a place for constructive discussions, not a venting forum.

The issues experienced by the significant others of those with disorders cannot always be discussed in the other parts of the site in a way that does not trigger those with disorders. Moderators may therefore move threads from other forums into this one at their discretion.

Father and Mother relationship

Postby shad0wboss » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:43 am

Hello all,

First off all, i'd like to apologize if this is the wrong section for this kind of issue but as i am new to the forum and seek some advice from experts here. I am writing to you as I notice that the issue is getting out of control. My aunt (father's sister) has gone through a similar phase which resulted in her running away from her husband and leaving her children behind because she didn't get any support from them either. I believe that my mother has seen this act as a way of getting rid of all the way and suffering and may act in a similar way leaving us behind which is why i am writing to you all here to get some advice.

The story:
My father seems to have some psychological illness where he picks a negativity in a specific person and then finds way to create issues around that person. My mother is the easiest target for him so whenever that person interacts with my mother in some way or another, he blames my mother for whatever reason. He has also an issue with doubting my mother's character. In the past, he blamed her for various men interacting with her in different ways and gave her very hard time emotionally. This has been affecting my mother in a very negative way, resulting in her losing all the love she has for her husband which i think is only natural. I am 26 years old and i have been a witness in almost all the fights that my parents have gone through and i am telling you that they are very basic issues that normal people overlook and don't even think about it but my father, having this illness of picking a person and hating them, takes the issue to the next level. The issue is so serious that if we are watching a tv show and if by chance my mother makes a comment on one of the character's way of loving his wife/woman, this would soon turn into a fight.

I am seeing my mother getting hurt every day emotionally and I am also seeing my father suffering because of this illness that he has. I am clueless as to what i should do from my part so that i can somehow make my father realise the sickness that he has which is very less likely to happen because my father never admits his mistakes (i forgot to mention that this is also something that he has).

I cannot take them for therapy sessions either because my mother has a language barrier when communicating in the country that i live.

TLDR: Father has an issue of picking a person and hating him then blaming my mother for interacting with the person in the way other than he had wanted her to have. This also includes him thinking that she has been ill-loyal with him but she hasn't.

Seeking advice on what i can do from my part and maybe my brother and sister can assist in, in making our family situation better and helping my father with this issue.

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Re: Father and Mother relationship

Postby realityhere » Mon Jun 17, 2019 2:38 am

None of us can diagnose, as it's against the forum rules-- however, all we can do is take a guess. From what you've written about your father, it seems like delusion runs in his mind. He sees another person, particularly if it's a man talking with your mother about an innocent subject, but in your father's mind, he sees your mother as cheating or being unfaithful to him? There is such a thing as jealousy delusion and it's one of several symptoms of the paranoid personality disorder. Not saying this is what your father actually has, as only a psychological professional can diagnose for a disorder-- but the info link below may be helpful to you to understand your father's symptoms better.

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