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Need help identifying the disorder

Forum for significant others, family and friends of people with mental illness to discuss relevant issues they face.

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This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Whilst it can be healthy to express various emotions, please remember to be respectful about the disorder itself. This is a place for constructive discussions, not a venting forum.

The issues experienced by the significant others of those with disorders cannot always be discussed in the other parts of the site in a way that does not trigger those with disorders. Moderators may therefore move threads from other forums into this one at their discretion.

Need help identifying the disorder

Postby bb2800 » Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:04 pm

My girlfriend and myself sometimes have disagreements which is normal for most couples. She will be grumpy and withdrawn after such an incident. The disagreement could stem from a personal matter or something as trivial as "I don't like a TV personality that she does". The problem is that her withdrawal may last a week or so or at times even a few months. This is extremely debilitating to the relationship and has a huge impact on me. When she is in this state (I call it the WALL), no actions from me seem to work. If I maintain a withdrawn attitude similar to hers, it increases the degree of her withdrawal and also the time that she takes to get out of it. If I try to reason with her, it has the same effect. I am at a loss as to how to break the WALL and restore normalcy in the relationship except that I can prevent it by never disagreeing with her which is not feasible in healthy relationship.

Is this a symptom of a mental disorder ? I have been googling but haven't had much luck so far. Please help.
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Re: Need help identifying the disorder

Postby octopustentacles » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:05 pm

It might not be as simple as " just not agreeing with her". I have a hard time accepting my partner actually has a mind of their own and our opinions aren' t always going to line up.

Say I have a partner who likes sports. Well, I hate sports and think they are dumb. How could I pick a partner that is actually entertained by something so stupid? Then I will start to think negatively about them and the choices they make and want to distance myself from that.

I have no idea what your partner has. I don't even know what I have but I can recognize that thinking. :D I also put up walls. My ex used to say...oh, I see you are sitting in the "brooding chair". That meant I was pissed and didn't feel like communicating anymore.
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