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Husband wants to quit job

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Husband wants to quit job

Postby Lavendar33 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 1:39 pm

Hello all,
I am in need of advice. My husband has an undiagnosed disorder, and is not/will not seek treatment. This is our situation: I stay at home with our 1 year old because I have been unable to find a job that pays more than daycare costs. My husband is finishing up school and has an absolute mountain of debt. As he nears the end of his training it is like he is self destructing. He constantly, and I mean constantly, texts me if we’re apart or tells me if we are together that he is so unhappy and miserable in his work. It’s more than half of his interactions with me. He had a fantastic job offer and turned it down at the last minute. He has no other job prospects and he keeps telling me that he would much rather just do something else. He has no other training though. This is very hard for me and I do not know how I should be responding. I have a long history of depression and this is really wearing me down, not to mention I’m extremely concerned for the stability and security of our future. Does anyone know how to respond to a significant other who is burned out, exhausted, hates their job, but has a mountain of debt that can only be handled by him taking a job in the field he’s trained in? I guess I’m lucky that he hasn’t jumped ship with his training as well. If he does, my child and I will have to go to my family’s until he gets the help he needs. I do not want it to come to that though so any advice to help me help him is very much appreciated.
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Re: Husband wants to quit job

Postby Wally58 » Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:58 am

The best thing would be if he was able to see the problem himself and decide to get help with it. You can explain your wishes to him and that is about the extent of your power. He has to see the wreckage around him and want to do something about it.
Your concerns may sound like criticism or nagging which would not be helpful in getting his cooperation.
There are such things as 'intervention' where family and friends 'confront' the individual and try to convince them that he or she needs to ask for help.
I came to realize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not of weakness. Not everyone is capable of asking for help (for various reasons; shame, ego, stubbornness, etc). I had tried every way possible to solve my own problems by myself, but I could not. Because I was the problem.
I felt a flood of relief when I was finally able to surrender to my issues and enter rehab. It probably saved my life. It was an epiphany and I wept over it. My life is much better today because of getting help.
Best of luck to you. :D
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