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Dating someone with RAD, what should I be aware of?

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Dating someone with RAD, what should I be aware of?

Postby jackheaven » Mon Oct 26, 2015 7:15 pm

Long story short: I met a girl on a dating website and we've been talking for hours on end, recently on the phone, every single day. Yesterday, she told me about having been diagnosed with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) when she was a small child and once I read up on it, it did make sense. I feel she also displays other symptoms, tells me about hurting people, and she is manipulating. I don't know if she is lying to me, that's something I can't tell over the phone. Before I knew all of this, I invited her to see me. I am not afraid of her, but I am wondering if she is unstable and if she'd do something on impulse? I want to stay with her but I feel like I need guidelines to help me cope with this. Are there things I should do, shouldn't do? What could set her off? I want to try and help her but I haven't been exposed to this before.
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Re: Dating someone with RAD, what should I be aware of?

Postby Otter » Tue Oct 27, 2015 3:03 am

Hi, I have mirrored this to our "Significant Others, Family & Friends Forum", where more people can see it. I also added (Reactive Attachment Disorder) to your post, to help those who may not be familiar with the acronym.
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Re: Dating someone with RAD, what should I be aware of?

Postby Nambo » Mon Nov 30, 2015 9:24 pm

Hi Jack, is the relationship still going?
I guess people with RAD all behave differently, so I can only relate my own RAD behaviour.
As soon as I feel the other person is forming some sort of attachment to me, I end the relationship, hence I have rarely lasted a month. It feels wrong and perverted for somebody to want to cling to me like some helpless puppy-dog, I end up finding the whole thing repulsive.
Looking back, I would say for me, the girls that sort of acted like Friends with benefits, who liked my company, but could take or leave me to be the sort I wish I had married.
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Re: Dating someone with RAD, what should I be aware of?

Postby Laeomis » Fri Jun 24, 2016 6:46 pm

Well, I think the triggering things on me with what you said is that you met on a dating site. If she's lying you're in trouble, but it just doesn't sound right. Like, I don't think it will work. Especially if she has had many relationships in the past, particularly marraiges. Personally, I wouldn't be worried about her physically hurting me, but what will happen if you get together, and she breaks up with you. Then you're in trouble if it's not a real relationship, from the manipulation she can call on you from other people.
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