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Is this a Factitious Disorder?

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Is this a Factitious Disorder?

Postby LittleLunaStar » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:10 pm

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted something to be wrong with me, or something to happen to me. Something that no one wants(chronic illness, mental issues, etc).

I become almost obsessed with the idea and daydream about "what if this happened" or "what if I got this illness?", "what if I had this mental issue". I want to have an eating disorder even though I have no body issues/any typical reasons for an eating disorder. I want to have depression, even though I have nothing to really be depressed about. I just want something, anything.

Sometimes whenever I latch onto an idea, I'll research it, I'll throw myself into it and pretend to have an issue. (Very much like Munchhausen Syndrome). For example, an eating disorder. I read up about how someone with anorexia thinks, and I start thinking the same. I start acting the same, but usually I drop it within a week because nothing but my own want is compelling me.

Other times I simply surround myself by it and daydream about what if I had this issue/if x thing happened to me. This happens a lot with things like depression/anxiety/other mental issues. I'll surround myself with music, stories, things that talk about it and deal with it.

The last way this will manifest itself if when I have something happening to me and I desperately want it to be something, but I don't pretend it is something or pretend to have any illness. I just want it to turn out to be an illness. For example, I've had this cough for the past 2-3 weeks and I want it to be a bigger issue(allergies, asthma, etc).

Some additional information that I don't know if it related is that I like to see scratches/bruises on myself(but I don't inflict them. Just things I get normally(cat scratches, bruises from falling)).

I don't know if I do it for attention or to stand out. I don't even know if it is a disorder or what. I just know that I've been struggling with it for a long time and I want to see if anyone else has dealt with this or what my thoughts/feelings could mean.
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Re: Is this a Factitious Disorder?

Postby Kip » Sat Aug 04, 2018 6:02 pm

It sounds like it. Maybe you should talk to someone.
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